Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats
by RedBelladonna101
Summary: This is the story of how the Akatsuki became cats, and ended up learning how to be more human. Follow Ann and her new entourage of mini psychopathic terrors on a journey of hilarity and romance that might drive the powerful ninja so crazy they turn sane again. But can Ann keep the peace when they stake their claim? Keep reading to find out!
1. Ch 1: First Contact

Hello Beautiful readers! : Please call me RedBell. This is my first time sharing a story on an online forum. Please be gentle with me. Also forgive me if the story looks weird, kind of odd how has the warning of "double space between paragraphs or else it'll look cluttered" under the guidelines. Again, I've never done this before lols. A little tedious to go through and put extra spaces, but I will suffer with dignity for the love of my _hopeful_ future fans!

This is now the general I DO NOT OWN NARUTO spiel. If I did I would be rich living the high life, and not fretting about possibly offending you lovely folks with my subpar writing, SIGHS. If only, right?

This is a rated M story for language and some steamy bits. I am aware there is no longer an MA option for full sexual content. Shame, right? BUT FEAR NOT, there will still be some damn good fan service!

All text that is _italicized_ is thought from whomever the point of view is in.

Now with that said, onto the story! Enjoy!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats Ch.1 First Contact

Today has progressed as a normal day of work at the call center. Sure it's customer service, and more often than not I'm only here to let customers vent about their cable TV service, or ever rising rates due to the cost of living going up or just inflation. But to be honest this job is a god send, full time, better than minimum wage, full benefits, and it's the only constant in my life at the moment.

Many things have changed for me in the past few months. Loosing friends, bad relationship breakups, both mental and physical health issues which are still ongoing. All things that happen with the process of becoming an adult I suppose, I just turned 25. High School friends grow distant until they just cut off all ties. Men are just too immature to handle being in a serious relationship, or impatient in the dating process and try to force the woman into a commitment she's just not sure of yet. _I mean really guys? It's called dating for a reason. Getting to know you and all that._ Insecurities abound for men who put woman through that kind of pressure.

I digress, fairly new job, finally getting into the flow of things, friendly coworkers. The day in and day out a soothing repetition like a balm to my chaotic mental state, and it's doing a good job of currently holding me together. The challenge of learning the intricacies of the business to keep my brain sharp. That's always been a quirk of mine, I want to know everything about anything once I get involved. I want to be the one anyone can go to with a question and BAM, here's your answer! _Hey, a woman's got to have aspirations._ More like not wanting to be a burden on anyone, but it's also nice to be needed and able to help when I can.

So yes, I am just leaving my job. I have a late shift so it is just past 8:30pm I am walking out of the call center and towards my car, moon has claimed the sky, and there aren't many lights in the lot. Due to it being a Friday we had a lot of employees during the day, so I unfortunately had to park all the way in the back of the lot when I arrived, and being one of the last ones to leave, the lot is deserted now. The call center is surrounded by trees, kind of hard to find if someone didn't give you explicit directions, have to go down a thin two-way dirt road even, so you can imagine how eerie it feels in that parking lot this late at night, with tall dark trees all around and going towards a car all the way in the back by the dumpsters. _Have I said there's been times creepers have been chased off by cops in the past? Yeah, that's a real threat here. Doesn't help I have an extraordinary imagination._

Key to my car pinched between my thumb and index finger in a way it could be used as a weapon if need be. _Come at me bitches, I WILL. Shank. Your. Ass!_

Boop Boop. The doors unlock as I approach my racing heart feeling slightly easier knowing I'm close enough to charge into the car if someone decided to pop out at me. _What if someone really is out here? Hiding behind the trash, waiting to pounce at me?_ And then I heard the rustle, like plastic crinkling. Body frozen like ice water were just dumped down my spine _._ _Why aren't I running? What happened to my plan of rushing to the car if anything happened? I liked that plan.._

BANG!

I jump with a small yelp, slapping my hand over my mouth to stop any other noises in hopes not to be noticed by whatever is causing the ruckus. Body frozen now completely in place, not even breathing.

The next movement I saw broke my terror spell.

A bright almost golden yellow kitten came literally rolling like a ball out from behind the large dumpster, and slid to a stop with a low growl and something that sounded like a chuff at the end. Instantaneously my frozen form thaws to mush.

"Oh my God! You poor thing!" Jogging over to the small bundle of fluff to kneel down next to it. "Are you ok, sweetie?" The small kitten turned the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen on a cat before, with such a pathetic look, that immediately turned to panic as it's heckles rise up. "It's ok, shh shh." I coo to the animal as I reach out to brush gentle fingers down it's back and scoop up the small bundle into my hands.

Now holding the scared animal to my breast in a supported hold. One hand under the tail, the other on its back. Something else you should know about me, I'm short 5'1", with curves. Sometimes my breasts like to strangle me, being a hefty 36 H. So you could imagine this little creatures position, practically laying on a soft warm shelf.

"How did you get here, little guy?" the cat just kept staring at me while receiving gentle chin scratches, which seemed to give the desired effect to sooth him.

HISS! REOWR!

More noise irrupted from behind the trash bin.

'There are more of you?" flicking through my key chain to click on the portable flashlight I aim the beam behind the dumpster. Six more sets of eyes reflect back at me. All belonging to kittens of various sizes and colors. One in particular is making quite the ruckus, swiping threw the air at me. Fur a shiny silver. "Whoa, easy Vicious. Who pissed you off?" quirking an eyebrow at his actions I study the other cats further.

One is all black but had orange tabby stripes blooming across its face took a few nervous steps towards me, head held high in curiosity.

"Hello, Buddy. I'm not going to hurt you. Are you worried for your friend?" I turn my upper body to face the bunch of kits more openly and lean down a bit showing him the golden cat I have perched on my chest, the nook of my arm holding its lower half up. "See? He's ok. Come here." I offer placing my flashlight down still aiming at them and hold out my left hand in an offer to give pets. Which the kitten immediately jumps into action to take advantage of. It's back end nearly flipping over its front in this awkward energetic hop to get to me as fast as possible. _This one has coordination issues._ Small random mews spew from him as I brush my fingers around his head and over his spine, scratching behind his ear, which seems to stop his sporadic movements and constant mewling as he arches against my fingers. I assume he really enjoys that.

The golden fur ball starts grumbling again just under my chin while watching the display. _Jealous?_ I started lightly bouncing him in my arm gently hoping to stop the growls while nuzzling my nose against his cheek, which is adequate to silence his displeasure.

Eyes roaming back over to the rest of the cats all were quiet, big reflectors observing me and the two kittens as well.

Screwing my face up in thought, "Well you guys don't look like alley cats. There's no way you all came from the same litter. Too exotic looking just to be randomly left behind, people could make a pretty penny off of your unique features. Did you escape from somewhere?" Their eyes remain steady with mine. _Hmph No help at all._ I take a moment for silent contemplation. The black and orange cat now completely sprawled on its back in front of my knees at the mercy of the tummy rubs _._

SIGHS, "I can't take you all home." I make eye contact with all of them, even the orange and black cat at my knees. He freezes in place at my statement. "…no…really. I can't take you home." His eyes still holding me hostage, with determination I tore my gaze from his JUST to clash with the crystal blue eyes of the golden cat whom I have lovingly rested on my bosoms. Sweat starts to swell on my brow with the effort to stay strong. He blinks at me with a soft mew.

"GAH! FINE! You all are too fucking cute! I can't stand it!" The black and orange cat jumps up to a standing position with a happy chortle and starts climbing onto my lap. _SIGHS saw my determination breaking from a mile away with this one. Good job sticking to your guns, Ann._ "Alright, well let's get you all loaded up into the car." I pick up the black and orange one, who was still struggling to climb up my body, before he either falls off and hurt himself, or ends up hurting me with his sharp nails of doom. "Hopefully all your other friends will follow and I won't have to chase them down." I stood and march over to my silver Prius, cat in each hand, briefly pushing the golden one higher onto my boob making sure his paws had a good grip before freeing my right hand to open the door and set up a safe spot for the ride. _What? They don't call big boobs a shelf for no reason, ya know. Comes in handy for drinks on occasion too._

Ok two kittens in the car on the floor in the back with a plush towel as a bed to sit. "Two down, five to go." Turning back to the trash bin I was surprised to see all the cats marching over to me in a somewhat organized fashion. Picking up each one by one and putting them next to the first two.

One left, the last cat is the silver one who I can now see has soft amethyst colored eyes. _Some kind of albino?_ First attempt to pick him up had him swatting at me with his paws hissing. "Oh really now? Well, go on. Get in the car yourself then." I stood back crossing my arms showing I wasn't going to intervene.

He eyes me for a moment before measuring the height of the car. First attempt was him just stretching to put his paws on the lip of the doorway, trying to use brute strength to pull himself up. Second attempt was him hopping and failing at finding anything other than metal to grip onto with his claws, so he just slid back out. Third times the charm. He whines up his body, wiggly butt and all. Finally, with one giant leap, for all of cat kind, he manages to get a hold on something, but lacks the strength to pull up the rest of his body. So, with a roll of my eyes, I gave him a helping hand, or rather…foot. Putting my toes under his butt and lifting his lower half for him into the car.

The other cats snicker, if you could imagine what a cat snickering would sound like. The silver devil glares at me once he was fully in the car. I giggle and gave him a cheeky smile.

"Alright, everyone in? Ok, let's get this show on the road." Shutting the door.


	2. Ch 2: New Place and Something Comfy

Hello again, Beautifuls!: I'm so glad to see you are back reading the second instalment of my first published story! I hope you are enjoying it, please let me know if you are, or aren't. Feed back is always greatly appreciated. I'm still working on how to make the format look the way I would like for it to. Kinda tricky, but hopefully it isn't visually annoying to look at. I can't quite figure out why the tab space at the beginning of each paragraph goes missing, but hopefully the content makes up for it! lols. How are you liking the first person, real time point of view? I haven't written like that before. Let me know if it reads well for you.

Alright, you know the drill, I do not own Naruto. Only the original character Ann, and the plot if I ever come up with one (Can't give hints if I'm keeping the plot secret from even myself, heehee).

And Onto the story!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats. Ch.2 New Place and Something Comfy.

"Ugh, my head. Wha…what happened, un?" I open my eyes for the first time and rapidly blink away the haze. The air smells of trash and plastic. Some of my blonde hair is covering too much of my vision so I lift my hand to brush it aside. When doing so I couldn't believe my eyes. I wasn't looking at my hand, my hand which can sculpt masterpieces, no. Not only are my beautiful tools missing, the mouths gifted to me from my ninja bloodline limit, but I wasn't looking at a human hand at all! "WHAT THE HELL!?"

"Oh look, sleeping beauty is finally awake." Looking for the origin of that snarky comment, I see another cat. Blue with black lines on his cheek bones.

"Good, now we can find shelter, and plan how to return us to our normal forms." A black cat with blood red eyes said.

"Kisame, Itachi?" I ask feeling very confused, "Why are you cats, un?"

"Cheh, take a good look at yourself. We are all cats." I look around and I see four other fluffy bodies.

"Sensei! You're awake!" Tobi's high pitches cheer rings through my ears. _No, not you too._

"Shut up, Tobi!" I yell.

"Be quiet, Brat. You are making more of a fuss."

That voice, it can't be, but it sounds too familiar to be wrong. "Sasori? Is that you, un? Didn't you die?" I look at the source of the comment and see a burgundy cat. The look he gave me solidifies the unlikely truth.

"You kept us waiting." Yup, that is definitely my old partner.

"We all died." The pointed statement came from a dark brown cat with thin lines of fur missing, I can make out black lines going through the patches. _Kakuzu, as straight to the point as always I see._

"Speak for yourself, asshole! Lord Jashin would never let me die." Came the coarse knee-jerk response from a silver cat.

"Idiot, what is the last thing you remember, Hidan?" Kakuzu asks him.

"I was fighting that stupid shadow nin!" he pauses in thought, "OH RIGHT! He had me over a hole with paper bombs all over me! That son of a bitch!" He gives a trash bag a kick of frustration.

"You blew up too, un? I didn't know you had a taste for art, Hidan. I bet my death was spectacular. I used my suicide jutsu to become one with my art in my last moments. Art is an explosion!" I couldn't help but show the excitement I feel for my ultimate art.

"Shut up! Suicide is an affront to Lord Jashin. To keep the glorious pain of death to yourself! You have to share it!" Hidan is practically screaming now.

"Oi, enough with your 'Lord Jashin'. If he existed, do you think he'd let you die only to get reborn as a fucking cat, un?" Now I've done it, from the look in his eyes I've really ticked him off. Next thing I know I was flying out from the relative safety of the dump, my face throbbing with pain, and landing in a sprawled heap. "You, son of a bitch, un!"

GASP! "Oh my God! You poor thing!"

 _Now who the hell said that, un?_ I look around me, wincing from the ache in my cheek. There's a girl here. _There's a girl here!?_

"Are you ok, sweetie?" My first impulse is to run back towards the other's, but she is too fast. Her hands are upon me, and I am suddenly in the air. "It's ok, shh shh." She tucks me tenderly under her chin. I'm now sprawled over her right breast, her hand holding my hindquarters securely. _These boobs are huge! I could get used to this. Maybe being a cat won't be so bad, un._ "How did you get here little guy?" She asks softly while stroking my chin. _Yeah, not bad at all._

"HEY! Don't think that bitch can save you from the rest of your beating, asshole!" Hidan is screaming from the sidelines.

"There are more of you?" she asks and uses some form of jutsu to produce light from her hand, _I heard some movement, but I didn't see any hand signs. How is she doing this?_

She spots Hidan still looking very angry, but is more surprised by the sudden appearance of the woman. "Easy, Vicious. Who pissed you off?" the woman asks Hidan, but soon notices the other members of the Akatsuki.

As she appraises them, I appraise her. She is obviously larger than myself in this form, but if I were human I imagine she is much shorter. Around five feet by the look of things. She has a soft heart shaped face, but her eyes are keen surrounded by black rimmed glasses. Her hair is a dark brown, nearly black. Long and wavy. Her skin is a light olive tone, and soft by what I can feel with my tiny cat palms. Can't forget to mention her breasts, which are large, and very comfortable to lay on. She is obviously no string bean, but not unhealthily large either. Just has all the right stuff in all the right places.

She's speaking to one of the others, but I'm not listening until she moves and I see Tobi is at her hand enjoying himself a bit too much for my liking. "Yes! Attention! I love it! No wonder you look so happy, Deidara! This feels so good!" _God, does he ever shut up, un!_

I growl to him in warning "…Tobi….", but before I can get another word out I'm bouncing against the luscious mound under me, and her nose is rubbing my cheek. My irritation fizzles out. _Why does touching my face and chin feel so good, un?_ My pleasure and slight confusion is short lived however as she pulls away to speak.

"Well, you guys don't look like alley cats. There's no way you all came from the same litter. Too exotic looking just to be randomly left behind, people could make a pretty penny off of your unique features. Did you escape from somewhere?" Her voice is soft but definitely an alto for sure. _Yeah, we escaped from death, un._ She sighs, "I can't take you all home."

Well if this woman did take us home it would fix our most pressing issue, safety. We don't have any way of defending ourselves right now. I can't even feel my own chakra. I think the whole Akatsuki are on the same train of thought because none of us are moving, just staring at her. "No, really. I can't take you home." She reiterates, and looks at me. We are in a dead lock stare, and I can see her slowly pull her bottom lip in between her teeth. A sure sign her will is breaking. _Time to put the nail in the coffin, un._

Blinking slowly, I open my eyes as wide as possible, knowing full well how to get my way with woman. "But, you must, un."

"GAH! FINE! You are all too fucking cute! I can't stand it!"

"YAY! Deidara Sensei! You did it!" Tobi yells while jumping around and trying to get onto the woman's lap.

"Alright, well let's get you all loaded up into the car." She scoops Tobi in her grasp. "Hopefully all your other friends will follow and I won't have to chase them down."

"Come on guys! She's our ticket out of here!" Tobi yells, and slowly the others do follow.

"Shut up, you idiot. We don't need some random woman to take care of us!" Hidan yells back, but follows regardless.

"Be quiet, Hidan. Haven't you noticed? There are no chakra signatures anywhere around. We have no idea where we are, and she very well could be our only hope of finding information to safely turn ourselves human again." Kakuzu puts him in his place, as usual.

Suddenly there's a noise from a large metallic looking cart of some kind, and it briefly flashed with light, but before I could question it she's pushing me higher onto her chest, which is fine by me, and opening a door. She puts myself and Tobi gently onto a soft fabric and turns to the rest of our group. "Two down, five to go." She mumbles, and looks surprised then confused when each of the Akatsuki walk over and allow her to put them in the cart to join us. Well…all except Hidan.

He attempted to attack her first, "Bitch, I don't need any help!"

"Oh really now?" She says. _Can she understand us, or is she just good at reading behavior?_ "Well, go on. Get in the car yourself then." _So that's what this device is called, a_ car _._ She stands back a bit waiting on Hidan to make his move. He made two attempts and fails. On the third he got himself well and stuck. Much to my delight she boots him in the rest of the way.

"Don't need any help, un?" I chuckle, and a few others join in.

"Shut up, asshole." He turns and starts glaring at the woman.

"Alright, everyone in? Ok, let's get this show on the road." She shuts the door, and reappears in the front seat putting a key into a hole. The car vibrates with life, which is surprising. _Another jutsu?_ Soon the car starts to move.

"Tobi wants to see outside. Maybe we'll see something that'll let us know where we are!" He starts climbing up the chair, reaching the top quickly looking out the window. "I see a lot of trees, maybe we are in Fire Country?" he's precariously balancing on the top of the chair leaning very close to the window.

"Tobi, be careful, un!" I yell at him.

"Aw, sensei. You do care!" I'm practically fuming now. _Why you little…_ "OH! Look, everyone! There's light coming up!" the lot of us became curious now, climbing onto the seat and stretching to look out the window too.

What I saw was amazing to say the least, buildings everywhere lining the road all extremely well lit, and there are even more cars. Amegakure was considered the most industrialized city, but wherever we are now takes the cake. "We are definitely not in Fire Country…" I state in awe of the sites as they flew by, no one spoke for a time processing this new development.

"We may be in a bit more trouble than we originally thought…" Kisame's smooth timber broke the silence. "Eh, Itachi?"

"So it seems." Came his short reply.

The large buildings became scarce in favor of smaller huts until we finally pulled in front of one and the gentle hum of the car ceased.

The woman turns around from the front to look at us, "Home sweet home, my furry cuties." She smiles at us, then quickly leaves the car after grabbing a bag and a sweater from the passenger seat, and opens our door once more. "So who wants a ride?" she's holding her arms open to us now in invitation. Tobi took advantage immediately and is placed on her right shoulder and breast, making me huff with annoyance. "Well, any other takers?", to my surprise Kisame steps forward. "Alright, big guy.", he too is placed against her left breast, being longer than the rest of us she still needs to put her arm under his rear to keep him from falling off.

I noticed their eyes never broke contact in the movement, and it must have unsettled her because the next thing she says sounds hesitant, "Oh…kay then…Let's get inside and feed you all." Dutifully the rest of us file out of the car so she may close it, and follow her to the door.

It opens easily for her and we step into what will become our new base of operation. She locks the door behind us and sets down her things from the day. We all keep an eye on her, watching every step, while also observing the house. The first room immediately from the door is a living space, a big plush blood red couch on one side, and a black square picture frame on the other that takes up quite a bit of the wall space. _What is the point of that? Tell me that's not supposed to be art, un?_ I groan internally.

"I'm going to assume the staring means you are hungry." The woman states as she walks over to the couch.

"YES! Tobi is famished!" - "Hell yeah, bitch. I'm fucking hungry." Tobi and Hidan yell simultaneously, and the rest of us give short replies in the affirmative except Sasori.

"I'm going to assume that is a resounding yes. Good thing I love tuna sandwiches, and have plenty stocked up." She places Tobi and Kisame onto the couch and leaves us to our own devices.

"This woman is far too trusting; she can't be a ninja." Kakuzu starts our conversation. "How can we get information we need if she is just a civilian?"

"There may be no ninjas around. I haven't seen nor sensed a hint of anything related to chakra use. Whereever we are, it must be very far away from the known countries." Itachi gives his opinion.

"So what? That means we're stuck like this?" Hidan asks his tail flicking behind him wildly. "And what about the bitch? She thinks we are just cats. Fucking man handling us like that."

Kisame chuckles, "You're just jealous you didn't get to lay on her massive breasts." Dismissing Hidan's irritation.

Hidan looks like he's winding up for a loud comeback but Sasori interrupts, "Yes, she does think we are just cats. Which we will continue to let her believe. We need her for now to think we are defenseless to keep us safe. So don't act too suspicious. She has a keen eye to notice behavior and we don't want to break our ruse." A moment passes as we process his words until we hear a growl coming from him.

"What…was that, un?" I ask still looking at Sasori. The growl comes again, still from Sasori's direction. "Oh my god, is that your stomach? I thought you didn't get hungry, Sasori, un."

He sighs exasperated. "It seems in the change I am no longer the perfection of my puppet form. And this…body…craves sustenance."

"Holy shit." Hidan says just as we took notice that the woman returned from what must been the kitchen, because she has food in her arms, and a sandwich hanging from her mouth.

She pauses for a brief moment with all of us staring at her and gives us a funny look. _Shit, un. We are supposed to act natural and cats don't just have impromptu council meetings._ She places the plates of what looks to be tuna on the ground in a row, all the while keeping her right eyebrow raised watching for our next move. "Alright, dinner is served." She says after taking the sandwich from her mouth, then sits down on the floor with us, her back up against the coach. She begins her meal.

I sniff my plate, _It certainly smells like tuna, looks like it's from a can though, not fresh. Should I try it? Maybe I should wait for one of the others to go first._

"You guys are not normal cat, huh?" _Well that's the understatement of the century, but you aren't supposed to know that!_ "Why aren't you eating? Not like it's poisoned or anything." Her and Itachi seem to be sharing a silent conversation of mutual mistrust and skepticism, until she reaches out and takes a piece of tuna off each of our plates and eats it. "See? Not poisoned.".

"YAY! Tobi is relieved, I couldn't wait any longer, it smells so good!" He starts eating in a hurry, followed by Hidan. _Well if the supposed immortal didn't die, it must be fine._ I start to eat as well.

"You guys have trust issues. Who did this to you?" she asks but obviously doesn't expect and answer and we eat in peace.

Tobi finishes before the rest of us, and must have gotten bored because he would not leave me alone! "Go away Tobi, un. Can't a man digest a meal in peace?" he keeps flailing himself around me.

"But Tobi has so much energy! What do you think of the pretty lady? Isn't she nice?" my eyebrow starts ticking, "OH! How about how she held us? You certainly looked like you were enjoying yourself." Fumes are coming out of my ears, "Comfy, right? Deidara?" That's it.

"BE QUIET! UN!" I launch at him, but he's quick like usual so I take chase.

I almost had him, but next thing I knew, Tobi was out of my range in the arms of the woman. _Shit, un._ I look ahead of me again and see Sasori whom his eyes are growing wider. I couldn't stop my speed. _Double shit!_

AND- Until next time!


	3. Ch 3: What's In A Name?

Welcome back!: I know I've cranked out these first three chapters pretty quick, I'm proud of myself. But it'll probably slow down now to maybe one a week? I do have a life I must upkeep, sadly we can't stay in our lala-land forever. Bummer, right? But I will stay diligent and upload as often as I can!

I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. Only Ann and the plot. Enough with the "blah blah", let's get back to the story!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats: Ch.3 What's In A Name?

The drive is uneventful. A few of the cats became curious and climbed up the seats to look out the window, but none of them got too adventurous. Thank goodness, because I wouldn't want them doing something stupid to cause us to get into a wreck. Lord knows that is something I don't need in my life right now.

The Prius rolls into my driveway in front of a small three bed, two bath house. The home I grew up in and inherited from my parents. Oh, they aren't dead. Just decided they wanted to explore America in an RV mobile home. The house was already paid for so I won't have to worry about a mortgage, or rent, and with the housing market the way it is, it is more beneficial to hold onto rather than sell. Things just worked out that way.

I turn the car off and look into the back seat. "Home sweet home, my furry cuties." I hop out of the car and open the back door, "So who wants a ride?" I hold my arms open to the animals in invitation. Most look at me dubiously.

The black and orange cat, who is clinging to the head rest, immediately launches himself at me. Took me a little bit by surprise, but I caught him. "Well, any other takers?" I help the little kitten find a solid perch across my right shoulder, his back end resting on my chest.

One of the bigger kittens walk towards me. He looks like a Siamese, short hair that looks like a glossy blue, with these black markings on his cheeks and down his neck and shoulders. He made eye contact and gave what appeared to be a nod with a flash of his right fang. _Is this cat smirking? Can a cat even smirk?_ "Alright big guy." I scoop him up with my left hand and hold him against my chest same as the first cat. His eyes never left my face, which is a little disturbing. "Oh…kay then. Let's get inside and feed you all."

Opening the door leads immediately into the living room space with a long curved red couch, low table and tv. Again all the cats walk in a semi orderly fashion. There is no way these are normal cats; they have to have had some kind of training. _But they look so young…well…most of them._

I close and lock the door, hanging up my purse and sweater, kicking off my shoes at the door, and padding across the living room towards the small kitchen. Big round eyes never stop watching me. "I'm going to assume the staring means you are hungry." The black and orange cat meows loudly on my right shoulder, right into my ear, and a few join in the choir. After wincing from the noise I laugh, "I'll take that as a resounding yes. Good thing I love tuna sandwiches, and have plenty stocked up." I place the two cats from my shoulders onto the couch and left for the kitchen.

Taking out a couple of cans of tuna, I open them with ease, and start rationing it out onto seven paper plates. When finished I made quick work of rinsing the cans out and tossing them into the recycling bin, and set to making my sandwich from the premade tuna mixture that is in the fridge. "Well this will be fun to explain to my parents. 'Hey mom, guess I'm the crazy cat lady now. I just picked up a bunch of cats on a whim! What do you mean I need a life? Who needs a boyfriend when you have SEVEN cats!' Yeah…that'll go well."

I walk back into the living room, balancing 7 plates of tuna and a tuna sandwich in my mouth, to a rather odd site. All the cats are in a lose circle mewing to each other. _What is this? Some kind of meeting?_ Upon my entering the cats stop and stare at me again, to which I just cock my eyebrow at them.

After lining up the plates on the floor, I happily announced dinner was served and sat on the floor with my back leaning on the coach letting out an exhausted sigh. They took their time sniffing and inspecting the offering. I took the chance to study them more while munching on my own dinner.

One of the cats is a glossy black, and turns away from the food to pin me with an intense gaze. I see his eyes are completely red with little specks of black dispersed in them. None have yet to touch their tuna. I quirk my brow at the black cat. "You guys are not normal cats, huh?" The other cats stiffen at my question, "Why aren't you eating? Not like it's poisoned or anything." those red eyes continued to stare at me. I 'hmphed' and lowered my lids at him with a mild glare of my own.

To their surprise I reach out and pluck a small piece of tuna off each plate and ate it in front of them. "See? Not poisoned.", the black and orange cat meows excitedly and starts eating, followed by the silver one after a hoot of excitement of his own. One by one they all ate. The black cat with red eyes is the last to start on his meal. "You guys have trust issues. Who did this to you?" _Wait, why am I asking a bunch of cats questions? Oh lord, I really am the crazy cat lady!_ The rest of the meal is in silence, while I ponder my new social status.

Once done the cats become more lively. The black and orange cat seems to like jumping around the golden cat who became increasingly annoyed till he pounces, but the instigator is too fast and they take chase around the whole room. The Silver cat has a mouth on him, and would not stop meowing till another cat I had yet to take a close look at swats him across the back of the head with a deep hiss. In fact, most of these cats I haven't gotten a good look at. _Well better late than never._

The black an orange cat is making his seventh lap around the room, the golden cat nearly has him, till I scoop up the instigator. The golden cat tries to stop his momentum, but ends up careening the rest of the length of the room, into the burgundy cat. Both of them in a limp pile now looking very unhappy with life. I giggle at their misfortune.

"Ok, kitties. Let's have a good look at you, and give you some names. Right?" I smile at the black and orange cat in my hands, he meows. Looking closer at his face the orange stripes start at his right eye and blooms into a spiral that tapers down into the black that covers the rest of his body. One eye looks nearly all black and the other he favors to keep shut. "Is your left eye ok, buddy?" I ask, gently stroking my thumb under his eye lid. He didn't flinch with discomfort, but I didn't miss the obvious lack of an eye underneath the lid. All I can feel is the hallow space beyond the socket. From what I can tell there isn't any scaring so he may have been born that way. "Ok, I want to call you Phantom. From Phantom of the Opera, but it seems too big a name for a cat...How abooouuut... Mask?" I start petting his head and he meows again happily. "Agreed. Next!"

I grab the golden cat who was just starting to recover after the collision, he swats at my hand halfheartedly as I lift him to eye level. He has longer fur on his head and around his neck, a tuft of it flops over his left eye. I gently comb my fingers through the long main and lift it up to see an equally crystal blue eye underneath. "Your eyes are like the sky. Captivating. But these bangs make you look emo." I laugh, "You look like a brooding artist." he starts swatting at my hand again with more vigor. "Easy, easy. It's not a bad thing. Jeez. You have an explosive temper." he stills in my hands and locks eyes with me. "See, now your calm again. Or did you just like being called 'explosive'?" I ask facetiously, but he just meows sweetly at me. _I guess he really does like being compared to explosions._ "Ok…how about Atom? Like the atomic bomb. The biggest explosive ever created, it can take out countries and makes a massive cloud. It's light and shock wave can be felt thousands of miles around, and when it's finished it rains down ash like snow." his eyes are wide as he watches me explain the meaning behind the name. I smile at him, "You like?" He meows loudly and reaches towards me with his cute little paws. I giggle and nuzzle my nose into the fur of his neck while he rubs his cheek against mine. "I'm glad."

"Alright, next in line is you." I pick up the burgundy cat Atom skidded into earlier. He is limp in my hands, his eyes are flat, but observant. I turn him this way and that. Placing him on my knee and hold up just his front legs. "You, my friend, are very apathetic." I state while wiggling his arms around, and playing with his claws, extending them and letting them retract. "Your temper is like a Ragdoll cat, you don't care what I do to you, huh?" I maneuver his arms again as if he was dancing the hoola. Now he starts to look irritated. Giggling "You're like a marionette. How about we call you Puppet?" his eyes grow wide, and Atom meows loudly while tilting his head, and the other cats draw closer to me. "What? You guys don't like it? I think it fits." I nod and gave Puppet a solid kiss on the forehead and set him down. Puppet keeps staring at me once he's on the floor again, and starts rubbing at his forehead with his paws. "Oh, so sorry to offend. You'll learn to love it." I wink while sticking my tongue out at him.

"Alright, who is next in line." I turn to the rest of the cats expectantly while stroking Puppets head, to his mild annoyance, until I reach his shoulders and use my nails. He seems to really like that.

The others share glances that are far too cerebral for a bunch of cats, solidifying my hunch that they are indeed not normal. Their eyes settle on the silver cat with light purple eyes who begins to growl with his ears flat against his head, pinning them each with a glare.

"You're up, buttercup. The tribe has spoken." I state while lifting him into my lap. He took a swipe at me, but misses when I snatch my hand back. "Holy shit! Your nails are huge. Why are you so grumpy? All I've done is feed you!" He has the decency to at least look a little sheepish.

I sigh while appraising him. "You are a very handsome cat." his ears perk back up, as I smile at him, "Looks that can kill, and the weapons to boot." I hold out my palm in askance. He takes a moment to ponder my request, and acquiesce by placing his paw in my hand. I start playing with his nails, examining them closer.

Normally cat claws have veins that go through the quick which grow the actual nail. Like a nail bed on a human, but that vein doesn't go very far. His nails however are completely clear so you can see the quick that goes all the way down the length of the nail. They look red with his blood but as they taper down to the edge they look pearly white. His nails are large and curved into a perfect crescent moon. They weren't just pointy at the tip, but sharp all the way down the base edge.

"Jesus..." I whisper in awe. "They're like blades." I sit up straight letting his paw rest on my fingers. "Your fur is silver, and death is normally associated with the color black, but...with these babies..." I accented by wiggling his fingers around, "I'm thinking death suites you. Like...the Grim Reaper. OH! And your nails are your scythe!" I couldn't help but feel excited while my idea for a name fleshed itself out. _Oh! It fits so well!_ "I'm going to call you Grim!" I pick him up to hug him against my chest. To my surprise he licks my neck and gave me a nibble.

I squeak in shock and hold him out in front of me, "What the hell was that for, you little perv?" squinting my eyes at him. He just turns his head a bit to the left, ears erect on the top of his head, giving me a side eye look. _If I didn't know better, I'd say he was smirking._

Quirking my eye brow at him, I place him on the floor next to Puppet, mumbling under my breath, "…weird ass cats.". Mask was swatting at Atoms tail, whom didn't seem to appreciate it very much. _Well at least that is normal behavior for a cat._ Feeling comforted by the familiarity, I set back to work.

"Four down, three to go." the largest cat steps towards me. He seems to always have one fang on the left side of his mouth showing at all times. _Looks like he's always smirking._ This is the Siamese that has dark fur that starts off black at the skin and fades into blue at the tips, with black stripes on his cheek bones and shoulders. "You are an exotic kind of cat, huh?" I pick him up too.

I brush my knuckle from the tip of his chin and down his jaw which triggers him to lick his lips. As he did I caught a glimpse of his teeth.

"Whoa!" _No way, did I see what I think I saw?_ I ask myself while placing my thumb on his upper left lip to lift it up, and inspect his teeth closer. What I see in his mouth are no normal looking cat teeth. Sure they are sharp like normal, white like normal, but there are so many! And not the normal shape of a cat tooth either. What I see is two rows of sharp perfect V-shape pearly whites. Top and bottom, totaling a count of four rows of teeth!

"Holy shit…" taking a deep breath I pull back and see his whole face again. With his eyebrows raised, and his mouth wide open now, must be feeling very uncomfortable; he looked so silly. It was too much. I start laughing. "My my, Granny. What teeth you have! All the better to eat me with?" Letting go of his face he has the ability to lick his lips again and give me one hell of a perplexed look at my question. "With teeth like those you probably could eat me. That's a wickedly cool set of jaws you've got. Oh!" I jump with my epiphany for a name, "That's what I'll call you! Jaws, like the shark movie!" I clap at my own excitement. He clacked his teeth together as if teasing he was going to take a bite. I giggle and click my teeth back at him, and set him down with the other's again.

"Alright, next?" the black cat with red eyes strolls up to my lap, and puts one paw on my folded calves. "Ok, let me get a closer look at you." I pick him up just as I did the others, and start stroking his head and ears. "Red eyes. Huh…very unusual. Damn, only thing coming to mind is 'Dracula', but that's a dumb name for a cat." I screw up my lips in thought. I continue to gaze at him, and he at me. Unwavering, like he honestly couldn't care less about this whole thing, but there is something else underneath it all. "Man…you are stoic. Hmm, I going name you after a character from one of my favorite book series. He has red eyes and black hair too. Acheron; how does that sound? He is an all-powerful being, can see things no one else can. He has a very sad past, lost everyone he held dear due to circumstances related to him, but not caused by him. I can see some sadness in you too. I don't know what caused it, but I hope you find some happiness here with me, Acheron." His eyes soften enough, which encourages me to hug him to my chest. Releasing a soft sigh of my own, in an attempt to push past the grief which hung thickly in the air. I pull back smiling tenderly at him. _At first this cat seems to be a hard nut to crack, but I think we'll get along just fine now._

I set him aside with the others, heaving another sigh. "And then there was one." I say looking at the seventh and final cat. He definitely appears to be the most normal looking out of the bunch. Plain jane brown coat, only thing odd was his eyes. "May I?" _Again, I'm asking cats like they understand me. Someone call the white coats, time to take me to the looney farm!_ Regardless of how ridiculous I sound these cats really do seem to respond to my questions or phrases like they honestly can understand me. _Well I've never half-assed anything in my life, might as well not half-ass being the Crazy Cat Lady._

The final cat marched to me slowly, like he was calculating every step, and as my hands reach towards him he jumps into my grasp. First thing I notice are his oddly colored eyes. Arguably more unique than any of the others. The sclera is not white like normal, but a pastel kind of red, and the iris and pupil are both seafoam green. "You don't' have a normal iris, but you don't act like you're blind." I test by lifting my pointer finger and moving it from the left side of his face to the right and back to the middle. I can see his eyes follow with no trouble. "Well…so long as you aren't hurting because of it, then we're all good." I state while combing my fingers into his soft brown fur, he is much plusher than the others. But there is a divide in the fluff. Curiously I part the fur and see a line of skin underneath with no fur and a black line of thread going through it. My eye brows knit in confusion as I follow the line. "Oh my god. You have scars and stitches everywhere! Who could have done this?" I was full on furious now. I draw back and look at his face again. He didn't seem to be bothered by my ire, and my emotions simmer down to concern. "Does it hurt?" oddly enough I actually wait for a response and he does eventually shake his head 'no'. I sigh with relief, but I can't help the mist from developing around my eyes. "Whoever did this to you…" I start, but my voice is shaky, "Well…if I ever find out." I pause to clear my throat of the worry, "…they will regret it." My voice drops down a few octaves. "I'm going to name you, Stitch. Not because these scars define you, but because of what they represent. Your resilience and strength. You have a young body, but an old soul, I can tell. You've been through hell, but you're still standing. And that is something to celebrate." I end by kissing him on the cheek.

Slowly I set him down with the others, and straighten myself again. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Mask, Atom, Puppet, Grim, Jaws, Acheron, and Stitch." I take my time to look each one in the eyes respectively. "My name is Ann, and I'm officially the new crazy cat lady on the block."

 **End Chapter- Author notes**

Hello, Beautifuls! Welcome to the end of chapter 3. So everyone has their names now, what do you think? I bet you thought I was going to dive right into naming Itachi after himself. Right? Didn't you? Lols SNEAKY! But yeah I want that realization to be a slow burn. Something exciting not just, BAM here it is, ok moving on!

By the way the character Acheron is in the series written by Sherrilyn Kenyon called the Dark-Hunter Novels. I absolutely love her work. If you like fantasy and romance novels, (Which I sure hope you do because otherwise why are you reading my story?) check her out. She's amazing. There are sexy bits though, so only 18+ ok?

Next chapter we'll learn a bit more about Ann, hope to see you there!


	4. Ch 4: Home, Sweet Home

Welcome Back!: It's been a couple of days, but I've finish chapter 4! I'm pretty excited to watch you all get to know Ann in this chapter. What was she babbling about at the beginning of the story anyway? Hopefully she is too your liking. I'm also going to avoid the Mary Sue-ness as much as possible. It's a difficult balance to make a character necessary, but yet not OP, but we'll see how that goes.

I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. Only Ann and the plot.

Now onto the story!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats: Ch.4 Home, Sweet Home.

The night progresses normally as one would expect. Each cat's personality budding slowly. Mask is by far the clingiest animal I've ever had. Every step I take he will follow. A moment ago I had to kick him out of the restroom, and when I left he was right at the door. Yelling at me.

Right now we are laying on the couch just finishing Batman (1989) with Jack Nicholson as the Joker. One of my favorites. Mask is resting on my shoulder. I think he finally ran out of energy. Atom and Grim are sharing my lap. Jaws is stretched across the back of the couch right behind my head, I can already hear him snoring. Puppet, Stitch, and Acheron are all sprawled up against my legs.

I check my phone to see if I've received any form of contact from the outside world. I see no new alerts. _I don't know who I was expecting to get a text from. No one's talked to me sense my girlfriends from high school decided I wasn't worth their time anymore. Life happens, going through shit pulls people apart. Just because we couldn't see each other often doesn't mean I didn't love them though…_ I sigh sadly and it draws a few looks from the kits.

The Joker is falling off of the roof of the church, and I start moving little furry bodies to get ready for bed. Mask shouts his displeasure, and Grim grumbles irritated by the shift.

"It's time for bed, kitties." I sit up slowly not to jostle them up too much. Jaws rolls forward without my head to lean upon and lands on the cushion, somehow managing to stay asleep, now laying on his back snoring away.

Atom meows, "Even if I don't have work tomorrow I gotta get to bed at a reasonable time…even if it takes me an hour of lying in bed to finally fall sleep." It's Acheron's turn to meow, "I know it's not healthy. That's why I take these." I pick up a bottle of pills from a tray I have set up on the coffee table. Stitch makes his way over and inspects the menagerie of medical capsules. Taking a sip of water, I swallow down the assortment of pills for the evening; a combination of anxiety, depression, and birth control medication. They all stare at me again, except Jaws who is still asleep.

I smile at them, and reach out petting each affectionately, and make an attempt to stand, but my body has a different idea in mind. Shooting, searing pain blooms in my pelvic area. I gasp with the shock of it, and end up on my knees gripping my pelvis. Grim is meowing loudly jumping over to the living room table to stand with Stitch. Leaning over to get closer to my face. I'm panting waiting for the pain to subside.

Slowly it releases me, and I can look up into those amethyst eyes, he's only an inch away from my face. "Don't you hate it when that happens?" I ask him with a wry smile. I lean forward the last inch and butt my forehead against his. I sigh feeling worse for wear; the stress of the day and now the pain coming back yet again. Grim rubs his head against mine and licks my forehead. Chuckling, I give him a quick thanks and put my hands on the table to slowly work my way to a standing position.

Taking an appraisal of all the kittens to find them all watching me with concern, even Jaws who must have woken up at my pained gasp, eyelids still at half-mast with sleep. "Oh, that happens often, you'll get used to it." I dismiss them and shuffle my way to the kitchen still holding a hand against my lower abdomen. I prep my favorite heating pad by putting it in the microwave for a minute, leaning against the counter top for support as I wait.

I hear padding of soft feet on tile. Seven pairs of eyes are watching me. "Oh don't look at me like that. I'll be fine. This has been the normal for almost a year now. In fact, I have a doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon to follow up after the hysteroscopy, and biopsy test." their heads tilt to the side in tandem, making me giggle. "It's a test where they look into the uterus with a scope, and take out a sample to test. It hurt like a bitch, but it was necessary.", Jaws, Grim, and Atom look disgusted by the image, and the others just seem to ponder the reason behind having it done.

The microwave dings, causing me to jump and strain my ab muscles. Pain shoots again from my right side. "Damn it." I growl through clenched teeth, and grab the heating pad, tenderly press it against where it hurts most and shuffle back out into the living room to take, yet another pill off the coffee table.

 _This pain really needs to stop. I'm sick of this shit._ Sip of water, and down goes more chemicals, this time a pain killer. _Damn, I still need to get changed into my pajamas. It hurts to bend though._ My eyes wander over to the kittens watching me. "Don't suppose any of you wouldn't mind helping me out of my clothes and into some sleep wear?", Jaws meows incredulously, "Don't sass me. I told you I'm the crazy cat lady, why wouldn't I ask you guys? What? Are you shy?" he looks away from me, "Aw, you are! That's too cute." If cats could blush, that's what he'd be doing. Until Grim slaps his paw against Jaws shoulder knocking him over.

I laugh, but it jostles my stomach muscles too much, irritating my current condition. "Ow…ow…hurts to laugh…ow." I say between spirts of giggles.

Sighing away the last chortles from my system I shuffle down the hallway towards my room. Opening the door, I breath in the wonderful smell of paper bound books mixed with my favorite combination of incents; lavender, vanilla, and cedar. The earthy tones sooth chaotic minds. My queen size bed takes up most of the space, and the headboard is also a book shelf housing my favorite novels. There is a two door closet, four draw bureau, standing mirror, and of course the master bath. The woods are all in dark tones, the walls are a dark burgundy red on two sides, and cream on the alternate walls.

I shut the door most of the way, and walk over to the bureau to pull out an over-sized black shirt for bed. It reads 'Wolves don't lose sleep on the thoughts of sheep'. Putting the heating pad on the bed I start by taking off my blouse from the day, and replace it with the large shirt. It's big enough that it's almost like a dress, hits a few inches below all the secret bits. Unclasping my pants, I wiggle to let them pool on the floor, avoiding bending at all. Then I perform the magic trick that baffles all men. Removing my bra with my shirt on. I turn to throw it into the laundry basket but catch a set of purple eyes coming around the door attempting to peek. "Oi, ya perv, you already missed the good part!" I twirl my bra on my finger and fling it across the room into the basket. He grumbles but enters the room the rest of the way.

I gingerly climb into bed, pulling the quilt up around me, and setting the heating pad where I need it most. "Ok, it's safe for you to come in now, Jaws!" I call, and the rest of the pack file in, Jaws bringing in the rear; ears drooping from my teasing him, and refuse to look my way. "Aw, don't be like that. Come up to bed." I tap the matrass inviting them.

I sleep with many pillows, three across the head of the bed, and two large body length pillows on either side of me. I suppose because it makes me feel secure. The cats jump up and search for their proffered place to rest.

Mask was the fastest claiming his place, right next to my head on the right side of the pillow. I giggle and start scratching him behind the ears after he settles down curling into a ball. "You are an odd ball." He looks offended and pulls his head back away from my hand, I laugh at his reaction. "It's a good thing, you are unique." I cup his body and pull him closer to me on the pillow, giving him a solid kiss on the cheek. He melts into my hand as I pet him and begins to purr.

Acheron found one of the low bookcase shelves to his liking. He seems to always claim the high ground so he can watch over everyone in the room. But I felt bad he was laying on hard wood, so I pick him up, move one of my spare pillows onto the shelf and lay him on top of it. He looks at me with surprise, but I smile and pat his head reassuringly.

The rest of the kits seem to be confused on where they should go. "Well boys, I sleep on my right side," I demonstrate, pulling the body pillow between my knees to support my pelvis so there isn't too much pressure on the tender organs inside. Wincing from the move, I situate the heating pad again, "The rest of the bed is free game."

Stitch walks up the bed and lays down against my mid back on top of the second body pillow on my left. He's the kind that makes up his mind quickly and doesn't pussy foot around about it. _He's so sure of himself, strong. No regrets. I wish I was like that._

Jaws reclaims the same place he had while we were on the couch. On my pillow laying across the top of my head. I smile up at him, and he flashes me a fang. _I'll take that as a sign he's forgiven me for teasing him._

Atom claims the left side of my pillow behind my head, putting his chin on the nook of my neck. The soft fur and small hot breaths tickle, making me squirm until I grow accustom to the sensation.

Puppet stands in front of my stomach and lightly places his paw on my hip. I smile at him "I'm ok. You won't hurt me" He jumps onto my hip and settles into the curve of my waist in a tight ball. I'm not worried that he'll hurt my pelvic area, because he is easily the smallest out of the bunch, and having a soft warm pressure may actually help ease the ache.

Grim saunters in front of me, laying down giving me what is becoming a signature look for him, head titled up and to the left, looking down his nose at me with a smirk. "Can I help you?" he snorts, and puts a paw on top of my left hand. "Oh I see." I move as if I was just going to pet him like he wanted, but instead grab him and hall him to my chest, trapping him against me. He struggles at first until I begin scratching his head and shoulders. "Who knew you were a cuddler, Vicious." His protest picks up again, making me laugh. I relent and let him pull back from me, "Ok, tough guy." He takes a moment to study his circumstances, and options. His eyes start at my face, flow down my jaw and neck, finally to rest at my chest. Breasts are squished together, cleavage apparent, peeking out of the large neckline of my night shirt. His eyes lock there for another moment then back at my face. He chooses to settle down laying up against me where I had him before, my arms draped around him. I giggle, "Pervert." He snorts once more and closes his eyes.

I reach up and pull the string to turn off the light, and shut my eyes. I can't stop the thoughts and feelings that claim my mind in the dark. Usually it's the loneliness that starts it all, remembering the friendships I used to have. 8 years of companionship thrown away, because of circumstances beyond my control, and assumptions. Lack of communication and willingness to talk things out. Romantic partners abuse, making me feel like all I'm good for is to be a verbal punching bag to let out aggression from them making poor decisions. Worry about my physical condition not letting up, but getting worse, even though the doctors insist the pain is from cysts that will pass in time on their own.

It all starts to eat away at my consciousness. My body curling up tighter into the fetal position. A small whimper of both sadness and pain from the constant ache leaves my lips.

Then I feel small palms and fingers in my hair against my scalp. _That's right…_ Atoms paws are kneading my hair, slow long strokes, a soothing balm. _I'm not alone anymore._ My mind becomes more in tune to the little warm bundles surrounding my body.

I release the tension from me in a long slow exhale, "…Thank you…" I say into the darkness. I feel a rough moist stroke against my neck from Atom. A single tear slips down my cheek, a salty sphere encompassing all the emotion I don't have the strength to voice. Relief, comradery, contentment.

Mask licks my cheek, claiming the drop, then puts a paw in its place. I open my eyes to lock gaze with his single orb. It flashes red briefly, but before I could process the new information it was back to its usual black pearly glow. In this moment I can feel a world of deep emotion coming to me in waives from the small animal. It's like his personality changed completely, and it takes me by surprise. I knew he had something hidden under the exuberant, hyper demeanor. And it speaks worlds to me that he is showing it to me now.

I smile, hoping that the happiness and gratitude I feel is apparent to him. "Goodnight, everyone. Welcome home." And shut my eyes, for the first time in a year, sleep washes over me immediately.

 **End Chapter:**

And there you have it. Starting to come together why Ann has taken to talking to a bunch of cats like people so easily. Loneliness can be a powerful emotion. What's causing her lady bits to hurt? How does she feel what they are trying to convey so easily, I wonder? ;) You'll find out soon.

Until next time!


	5. Ch 5: Bad News

Hello everyone!: I'm so happy that this story is becoming so popular. I never thought over 100 people would read it! Thank you all so much! Again, I invite you to leave me a review. How do you like the first person/present tense writing style? Any tips or tricks you can give a first timer like myself? Please let me know ^.^.

As always I do not own Naruto or it's characters. Only Ann and the plot.

Now onto the story!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats Ch. 5: Bad News

I woke up to a lack of warmth, the sun peaking through the double pane window, and there is a heavenly aroma in the air, "Mmm…Who the fuck is cooking?" I grumble.

"Who do you think, idiot?" Kakuzu snaps back at me. He must have just woken up too.

"Must you be so brash this early in the morning?" Sasori asks from his perch at the end of the bed, on the bed post.

"Ah piss off." I stretch and leap off the matrass. _Time to see what the bitch is cooking. It smells great._ I make my way down the hall. The smell is heavy in the air, some kind of grilled meat, and is that…music? "What the fuck…?"

The sound is deep, lots of bass and drums. I've never heard anything like it before. Figures even the music would be different here. Where ever the hell 'here' is. _I like this shit!_

I take a left into the kitchen to a site that makes my chin drop. Ann is at the stove stirring something in a frying pan, swaying her hips. No, not swaying. Undulating. Dropping her body down than thrusting up while shaking her hips left and right. Her head being thrown the same direction, matching the beat. There's a woman singing, but all I can process is the way Ann is moving her body. It's erotic to watch, _If only I was human right now, that ass would be mine!_

She turns away from the stove and saunters, skips and sways her way towards the fridge all the while singing 'If you're a freak like me, wave your flag. If you're a freak like me, get off your ass. It's our time now, to let it all hang out!'. These words are captivating, _Oh yeah, she's a freak alright. A freak in bed I bet._

She stops to plant a kiss on an unsuspecting Itachi, startling him as he had been captivated by the show as well, from his perch on the corner of the counter. That's when I notice the other three in the room. Deidara and Tobi are sitting on a chair that's pulled out from the table Kisame is on, next to him is a weird looking rectangular device the music seems to be originating from.

She comes away from the fridge after putting something away, and picks up Kisame to join her in a twirl. Half way through her second twirl she spots me and stops.

"Oh, good morning!" she pants out, a bit winded from her dance.

"It's about time you guys got your butts out of bed." Kisame says while still in her arms.

"For once you had US waiting, Sasori." Deidara jokes. "Who knew you'd be so tired after being dead for so long, un."

"Be quiet, brat." Sasori appears from behind me, as does Kakuzu. _When the hell did they get here. I didn't even notice, shit!_

"I hope my awful singing didn't wake you." Ann giggles with embarrassment, and sets Kisame back in his spot on the table. "I'm making something special for all of you. I didn't want to give you guys plain old tuna again. So this'll do until I buy cat food. Plus, it'll fill you up while I'm out."

"Out? Where are you going, bitch?"

"She has an appointment with her healer." Itachi answers, "To go over the results from the test she brought up last night. Something is wrong with her." His eyes never leave her as she returns to the stove, and is now stirring something in the pan again. She pulls out more paper plates and lines them on the counter. Dishing out a portion on each.

"From what I can gather from the medicine she takes she deals with a lot of pain frequently. Whatever it is, it has affected her mental health as well." Kakuzu informs us. "She struggles with depression and anxiety."

"She cried last night. It made Tobi sad!" the third person talking menace says, "We need to make her happy again!"

"Shut up, Tobi. We aren't here for her benefit; we are just using her for our safety…right, un?" Deidara looks around the room to all of us, looking for confirmation. From the look of it, his words don't sit right with him. And they don't sit right with me either.

"Fuck, if we're here anyway, might as well make the best of it. We can treat this like a vacation while we figure things out. And what kinda vacation would it be without a happy bitch around for good company?" I argue, and everyone seems to give their own version of agreeing with me.

"Breakfast is served!" She puts the plates in a row on the floor. "It's linguica* and eggs." We all gather around the plates, as she sits at the table and starts eating her share.

It still smells heavenly, if a little spicy. Some kind of sausage and egg scrambled together. I look up from the plate and see all eyes are on me. "What do you fuckers want?"

"It's only practical that the immortal should take the first bite." Sasori coolie replies. I sputter at his words, about to argue, after all Kakuzu is immortal too. They lean towards me with purpose, it was pointless to fight it.

I sigh, "You fucking bastards…" I look back at the food and take the first small piece of sausage and chew on it. My eyes fly open, _Jashin! This is amazing!_ I start scarfing the food down. Everyone takes this as a good sign and ate their breakfast too.

All the food is gone, and I sit back on my haunches feeling full and content with life. A new song starts playing, and Ann stands from the table, swaying devilishly. Suddenly I'm hungry again, but for a different kind of delicacy.

"You take a mortal man, and put him in control. Watch him become a god," She's stalking towards us, purposeful steps, hands trailing from her hips up her waist and rest on either side of her breasts. Her night shirt lifting ever so higher, baring more of those creamy thighs. I drink in the site greedily. She bends down piling the plates together, "Watch people's heads a roll," and flips her hair around in a circle as she straightens up. "Just like the Pied Piper. Led rats through the streets." She dumps the plates into the trash. "We dance like marionettes." She has her arms up in the air doing a fine impression of a puppet on strings still keeping the tempo, hips undulating with the bass. I notice Sasori licking his lips slowly. _Oh hell no, he's not going to make her into one of his 'pieces of art'._ I shove him successfully ripping him from his fantasy as he glares at me. I grin with satisfaction. _Take that, bitch!_ "Swaying to the symphony! Of destruction."

She dances out of the kitchen, sauntering back into the bedroom shutting the door, leaving me standing in the hall. _Damn it! She's probably getting changed. Fuck if only I was human!_ "Damn, we need to change back quick. Fuck, she is one hot piece of ass, flaunting her shit like that."

"Must you be so crude?" Sasori asks.

"Bitch, don't act like you weren't just drooling all over yourself at the show she gave us!" he sneers back at me.

"I agree. She is steamy." Kisame adds. "How do you think she'd react if she found out we are actually human?" He laughs, "She'd be so embarrassed."

Itachi walks over to us, joining the conversation, "True, the only reason she is acting this way around us is because she thinks we are animals. Albeit, semi intelligent animals."

"Well if she knows we're smart then she should expect this," I say as I run over to her purse she left on the floor in the living room. I put my front paws on the rim.

"What do you think you are doing, Hidan?" Kakuzu asks fallowing me. The others trail behind him.

I smirk back at them all, surprise no one else thought of pulling this stunt before I did. "I'm going to be a stowaway. I want to know what the healer says. And someone's got to keep an eye on her." I jump up and into the purse.

"Hey! If you're going, I want to go too, un!" Deidara yells.

"No," I hear Itachi say, "Only one of us should go. Any more and she will notice, and it's a good idea to have one of us keep tabs on her at all times." Deidara huffs his disappointment.

"I'm impressed this is Hidan's idea." Sasori says, a rare compliment indeed, "Usually he's the stupid one." And there's the bitterness.

"Hey, I heard you, asshole!" I yell while looking around the inside of the bag, "Hey, Kakuzu, I found something you'll love. Money!" all at the bottom of the bag are round coins of various sizes and shapes. A flat snake skin pattern rectangular wallet, another device that looks foreign, some kind of compacted hair brush, and other assorted doodads.

"Remember, Hidan, keep a low profile. Don't act stupid, understand?" Kakuzu says while looking over the rim of the purse at me.

"Yeah yeah, I get it, prick."

Tobi yells, "The doors opening! She's coming back, guys!" I hear shuffling as I assume everyone is taking up their 'we weren't up to anything' poses.

"Alright everyone, it's time for me to leave. I shouldn't be out long, only a couple of hours. I'm going to do some shopping for kitty stuffs, and visit my doctor. Ok? Be good." I hear smooch sounds, she must be kissing them fair well, I feel a part of me simmer with jealousy that I'm not getting a kiss. "Wait, where's Grim? Oh well, he must be using the restroom. I gotta go, see you in a little while." Suddenly it feels like I am floating, my stomach feeling butterflies. A familiar sensation of being air born.

I can hear doors open/close, jiggling of keys, and the familiar vibration of the machine called a car.

20mins later-

 _Jashin, damn it! My legs are cramping up so bad! Why did this have to be my idea?_ I can't hardly stand sitting in this cramped space anymore. Reminds me too much of being buried alive by that Leaf nin.

Finally, the cars gentle hum stops, and relief washes over me. _Maybe I can get out for a bit to stretch? Get some fresh-fucking-air._ I peek out of the bag, and what I see breaks my heart, well…if I had one.

Ann has her forehead against the wheel mumbling the same fraise to herself over and over, "You can do this. You can do this. You can do this." She hiccups, and I see her wipe the back of her hand across her cheek.

 _Aw shit, she's crying. Fuck, I don't know what to do with a crying woman. Think, Jashin damn it!_ I sigh, _Not like she can turn around now, we're already fucking here._ I clear my throat, "Uh-fuck…meow?" she gasps and looks my way.

Her eyes are large and glossy, obvious tear stain cheeks, and surprise on her face. "Grim! Oh fuck me!" She growls, slapping her hand to her forehead, her ire taking me a bit by surprise.

"If you insist, bitch." I snort back at her.

"What are you doing here, Grim?" She turns back to me exasperated. "I'm not supposed to bring animals to a doctor's office, and like hell I'm gonna leave you in a hot car! This is Florida, you'll die from heat stroke in a minute."

"Shows what you know," I hop out of the bag and stand my front paws on her lap, "I'm immortal, bitch." I flash her my signature smirk. She sighs again. She does that quite often I've noticed.

Her eyes roll as her head falls back hitting the headrest, "Ugh, ok…ok. If you were able to hide quietly enough for me not to notice, then you should be able to do it again. Right?" She asks me making eye contact. She looks on the verge of a panic attack.

"Yeah yeah, bitch. I've got you." I place my paw on her hand, she sighs once more closing her eyes. When she opens those deep browns again she's smiling.

"Sometimes I think you cats aren't what you appear to be. Did you know I'd need some company?" She asks while stroking my head and shoulders.

"Yeah, kinda? I guess, just don't stop touching me." I feel her nails scratch under my chin, and that weird rumble starts in my chest, _I don't think I'll ever get used to that._

"Alright, I gotta get in there before I'm late." She scoops me up, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and places me back into the purse. _Ah shit, back to being cramped._ "Now stay in my bag, keep low, and don't make a sound." I grumble at her commands.

We're moving again, and I can hear someone greet her. A few minutes pass and someone calls for Ann to follow them. "Please wait here, the doctor will be right in to see you."

We stop again and she puts me and the bag down on a chair, and peeks in at me. "How are you hanging in there, little guy?"

"It's cramped, it smells like metal and mints, and it fucking sucks!" I answer honestly.

She gives me a wry smile, "Well who's fault is that then? I didn't put you in my bag."

"Bitch, can you understand me? Cause I swear to Jashin, If you've been playing dumb this whole time I will–" a door opens, and Ann snaps the bag shut again. Darkness, but I can still hear everything.

"Hello, Ann. Good to see you again. How have things been sense your last visit?" It sounds like a man, older. This must be the healer.

"Not so good I'm afraid, I had another episode last night. Felt like a ripping pain from my right ovary area, then shooting across my abdomen to the other side."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I've been studying the results from the biopsy and pictures we took from inside your uterus. It's shed some light on what we're dealing with here. Currently your uterus is full of old endometrial material, and polyps." There's a shuffling of papers, "And from the pain you describe I believe you have cysts on your ovaries as well. I believe you have a disease called Endometriosis, but you will have to undergo exploratory surgery to be officially diagnosed with it. That's the only way to find out for sure. With the state of the inside of the uterus we'll need to perform a cleaning, and get the old material out of there."

"Oh…I see. Um, oh-okay. What kind of surgery are we talking here?"

"The surgery is called Laparoscopy. We make three tiny incisions, less than an inch long. One at the belly button, and one on either side of the pelvis about where the ovaries sit. We go in with a scope and surgical mechanical hands. If we find any endometriosis, we'll scrape it out, and burn the spots so it doesn't reform easily. Also remove any cysts we find. As for the uterus we'll perform a DNC, we go in vaginally scrape out the old material and polyps, so it can grow new matter like it should." He pauses, "The healing time is only two weeks, because it's minimally invasive."

"Ok, that doesn't sound too bad. So tell me more about this disease, Endometriosis. What exactly is it?"

"Endometriosis is where endometrial material, that's the flesh that grows inside the uterus and comes out with each cycle, somehow made its way outside the uterus into the body cavity where it grows, sheds and spreads, because it has no way of leaving the body as it would normally when you would experience a period." He takes a breath, "Usually this can occur if the uterus was not fully formed, or had a small opening during the first time the woman experiences her first period. That opening is more than likely closed now because it's been so many years."

Ann takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "Ok, so we do this surgery, and if I do have it, I'm cured?"

"Unfortunately, no. There is no cure for Endometriosis." She must have looked very sad, because his voice became concerned, "But there are many options to control the growth of the disease."

"Ok, so this surgery is my best option for now? And it will get rid of the pain?"

"It is my opinion that the surgery is your best next option. And it will grant you some relief due to removing the cysts, endometriosis and scar tissues that have built up putting pressure on your body."

"Alright, so when are we doing this?"

"I'll take you to the front counter and they will set up the appointments that we need. First we'll need some bloodwork a day before the surgery."

"Ok, thank you Doctor."

"My pleasure, we'll take care of you. Please follow me to the front."

I'm air born again, and I can hear Ann talking to the lady that greeted her when she entered. The surgery will be in a week's time. I hear a door and fresh warm air drifts through the top of the bag. _Damn it's sunny here,_ I think to myself as I poke my head out the top of the bag. I look up at Ann's face and her lips are in a deep frown as she makes her way to the car. I squeeze out of the opening further.

"Bitch, we just decided we're going to do what we can to make you happy. So stop fucking frowning!" she looks down at me and a sad smile tugs on her lips.

"I'm scared, Grim. I've never gone through surgery before." She lifts up a packet of papers to inspect as she opens the door to the car, "Moms going to freak."

"Hey, I'm sure they know what they are doing." I put my paw on her arm, "And if they don't, I'll sacrifice them to Lord Jashin, and dismember their bodies." I flex my claws to prove my point. She smiles, this time it actually reaches her eyes.

"I can worry about this later, let's go get you boys some cool stuff." She slides into the car, putting myself and the bag into the passenger side seat, and starts up the car. Cool air blasts at my face from the vents. "Please stay in the purse while I'm driving." She reaches over and pulls some kind of harness around the bag, securing me in place with a click. We're moving again, but I feel much better now that I can look around. It doesn't take us very long to pull up to another building that reads 'Petco' on the front.

She parks and turns to look at me again, "Here we are! I'm so excited. I'm going to spoil you all to death!" She unbuckles the harness and lifts me out of the bag. "This is where the pets go, so no need to hide anymore. It's probably awful being cooped up in a bag like that."

"No shit, lady." I say a bit irritated, but she just kisses my cheek and rubs her nose against mine.

"Thanks for coming with me. If you weren't here, I would have probably broken down crying in the car." She smiles with misty eyes.

"Heh, I might be a sadistic murderer, but I ain't completely heartless." I lick her lips before she has a chance to pull away.

She sputters as she pulls back, and chuckles. "Kitty kisses."

"Oh just you wait till I'm human again." I smirk at her.

"Alright, Casanova. Let's get moving." She holds me to her chest and grabs the bag. She makes her way across the parking lot, looking both ways. Our first guess of how technologically advanced this place is, was right. These so called 'cars' are everywhere, much more than there were at night. And as she approaches the building, the doors open of their own accord.

She grabs a high cart and sets her purse in it, and moves me to where I'm sitting across her shoulders. Making sure I had a good grip first, she starts perusing the aisles. "Let's find you all some collars. I don't want anyone thinking you are up for grabs if you escape outside. These will be purrfect. Hee hee." She rolls the 'r' sound and giggles at her poor joke. Oddly endearing. She makes a selection and puts them in the cart. "Now what else do we need. Toiletries."

Down another aisle and she grabs at least four tubs with pictures of cats on them, and some large buckets that look heavy. So far so good. She keeps picking things out, occasionally stopping to hold a toy up to my face and asks my opinion. I couldn't care less about cat toys, although a few of them I could think of other uses for. Like the one with the features at the end of the stick.

As we progress, my heckles begin to rise, someone's watching us. I notice the same crop of dark black hair has been following us on the opposite side of the aisle wall for a while now. I start to growl which draws Ann's attention.

"What's wrong, Grim?" she asks, as the crop of hair walks the rest of the way down the wall and turns into the aisle we are in.

"Oh! Ann! How's it going?" the guy asks as he approaches us, eyes darting around suspiciously, she looks up at the stranger and seems startled to see him. He's a big guy, easily over six feet tall. Attached to that head of black hair are wide shoulders with a medium build. Like he does a lot of heavy lifting, but nothing like the hard contours of a professional ninjas body. He towers over her small frame.

"Uh, hi Eddie." She says slowly, like she's not sure why he's speaking to her.

"Sup? It's been a while." He comes up to her left and makes a move like he is about to touch her. _Oh fuck no!_

"Back off, Asshole!" I yell and strike at him with my claws. He must not have seen me coming, due to my being on Ann's other side with her long hair over top of me, he looks like he could shit his pants.

"Whoa! Shit!" He narrowly pulls his hand back in time. "Uh, heh." He chuckles awkwardly, "New cat?"

"Yeah, this is Grim. Sorry, did he get you?" she asks but doesn't sound too concerned for his wellbeing, making me grin proudly. "He's very protective of me."

"I can see that, yeah. That's cool, he looks awesome, where did you get him?" His words are fast paced, he's obviously nervous for some reason. _I don't trust this guy_. My grumbling picks up again.

"He's an albino. I found him and six others at work yesterday." She answers politely, but steps minutely away from him. _I'm no genius, but I get the feeling she doesn't like this guy any more than I do._

"That's cool, he must be worth a lot. Are you going to sell them? That's a lot of cats for one person."

"No, I'm not selling them. These are my pets." She replies with finality. He must be stupid, because he keeps pressing the issue.

"I think you should at least think about selling them as Studs. I know a guy that you could—", before he can keep going, Ann cuts him off.

"Listen, I don't need to know. I'm not some kind of cat pimp; whoring out my animals." His eyes open wide for a moment, and I can see a glimmer of fury in them, but he blinks and he looks like his normal, shifty self again.

"Well, I was just saying you could make some extra money on the side, so if you ever want the hook up, let me know. Eh, listen I gotta go, it's been nice seeing you. I'll talk to you later." He waves and makes quick work of leaving the aisle, much to my relief. Ann lets out a sigh, and I can feel her shake her body releasing the tension that had built up during the interaction.

"As if I wanted you to keep talking to me." She mumbles under her breath and starts pushing the basket down the aisle again. I feel proud and oddly aroused by the way she just shut him down like that. _She's small but she's got guts talking back to a big guy like that._ "Talking to me after what he did, like nothing happened. Asshole." _Ooo, she's got a mouth on her. I like it!_ "I think I have everything I need, let's go home, Grim."

Her voice sounds flat, and I can't blame the girl, she's gotten a lot of bad news today. Then this fuck just had to come in, and stick his nose in our business. _Once I'm human, I'll kill him first._ This is the first time I wanted to kill someone without the express purpose of pleasing Lord Jashin. It takes me by surprise, but it feels natural, so I didn't question it.

She buys her goods, and we go back out into the heat to head home.

 **End Chapter:**

So what do you think? This one was a much longer chapter. I don't set a minimum or maximum number of words for myself. I just stop when it feels natural to.

*linguica is a Portuguese sausage. Sweet and spicy. My favorite lols.

The songs in the chapter are:

1) Freak Like Me: by Halestorm

2) Symphony of Destruction: by Megadeth

\- I do not own the lyrics. They have the rights to their own material respectively.

Also I am not sponsored by Petco, I just thought using the phrase from the commercial was funny lols.

It was fun using Hidan's point of view, I'll start using their views more often, maybe every other chapter. How do you think I'm doing with the Akatsukis personalities? I hope I'm not making them out of character. Does Hidan have the right amount of cursing? To much or not enough?

Until next time my Beauties!


	6. Ch6: Interesting Developments

Welcome back everyone! I can't even describe how happy I am that you all like this story so far. Thank you so much for your reviews and praise! I'm gonna be honest, I'm not a Naruto buff, and just stumbled upon the "Akatsukitties" fandom like a 2 weeks ago. And I promptly read all that there is of it on . It left me wanting more, and is what fueled me to start writing this story. I hope the genre makes a come back! WHO'S WITH ME?! lols

Like I just admitted, I am not a Naruto buff. I haven't even seen the whole series ^.^' so if anyone is out of character, that'd be why. I do the best with what I know, and how I think they'd interact with Ann and the situation they are in. Writing is interesting, like you all know, this is my first time doing this. It's like playing with dolls in your head, and vividly hallucinate what they are saying lols.

I do not own Naruto!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats Ch.6: Interesting Developments

"Finally home." Ann sighs as she drops final load of bags on the floor and locks the door. She turns around to look at us with purpose. We are scattered around the living room. I, myself, am on the table facing the door expectantly. I don't understand why I feel so anxious, maybe it's this new body. So unlike my wooden masterpiece. I can feel again, and it's foreign.

She walks up to the table with a turs expression, and places her bag a foot away from me. "I don't suppose the rest of you had any idea about this." She lifts Hidan out of her purse and sets him next to me.

"You were caught; I knew you couldn't handle it." I say, and I hear Kakuzu huff as he turns to look away in disappointment.

"Good going, Hidan. This will dampen our plans of keeping an eye on her in the future, un." Deidara comments.

"She's never going to trust us again! Sensei! What will we do!?" Toby laments

"Shut up! You're a bunch of assholes!" He growls back at us.

"Oh come on guys, don't be mad at him." Ann says drawing our attention. She must have been joking earlier, because there is no sign of her being upset any longer. "Him being with me today helped out a lot. So if you all knew about it, and had a part in it… Thank you." She smiles sweetly and I feel my chest swell with— _Is this happiness_? _How can this whelp of a girl have this effect on me? Is it because she kissed me when we met, made me feel accepted? Or is this just the byproduct of being flesh and bone again?_ "He saved me from an ex-boyfriend too." She laughs, but not the usual chortle. This laugh dips down a few octaves, and it runs shivers down my spine. "If only Grim actually cut him. It would only scratch the surface of what he deserves, literally." _So the girl has a dark side. How enticing._

"An ex-boyfriend." Itachi ponders, "Hidan, explain." He demands clarification that we are all curious for.

Hidan snorts before beginning, "He's a punk. Nothing we can't handle. Asshole, tried to touch her, but I stopped him." He smirks, self-satisfied. "Another idiot far too interested in fucking money, no offense Kakuzu, you know how I feel about money. He kept acting all buddy-buddy with her, and shit, like he's doing her a fucking favor. Pissed me off. Pissed her off too. She shut him down hard."

"Good, not like we don't have enough men around here anyway." Kisame says while gesturing around to all of us with his tail.

"Enough thinking about the stupid ass. I bought you all something special!" She exclaims excitedly. While we were talking she had pulled over a bag to the table and is now sitting on the carpet sifting through it.

"First up, Grim." She smiles at him and pulls out a collar. It is a thick red band with tiny skulls and crossbones on it, attached are tags with his name and hers with a number. A click and it's around his neck as she tightens it to the right size. "Handsome devil." She gives him a wink. He looks so full of himself.

"Second is, Jaws." Kisame struts over and looks curiously. In her hands now is an ocean blue collar with open shark jaw bones printed across in a single line, as well as his tags. She fastens his and he gives her a smirk, "Matches your glorious chompers".

"Nice touch." He comments with a smile.

"Next is Mask." Tobi leaps from his spot on the back of the coach and barrels towards her. Loosing grip on the glass top, he slides off the table and into her lap. She laughs, "You are too much. Here." She puts an orange band around his neck that has a pattern of black swirls going all the way around.

"Thank you, pretty lady!" he sounds like he's about to cry. "I will cherish it always!"

"Atom." She wiggles her finger in a 'come hither' motion "Come, my little explosion.", a smirk is on her face and a sparkle of mischief in her eye. He walks forward a little hesitant, but very interested. She brings out a collar that is sky blue, there are black images of round bombs dancing across with lit fuses. "I didn't think I'd find one with bombs, but I was so happy they had it!" She clasps it around his neck.

"Your little explosion, un? I could live with that." He licks her hand as she tightens his collar. Giggling she gives him a quick 'you're welcome', and digs into the bag again.

"Stitch, I've got something a bit different for you." She holds out a black collar, but it's not a simple band. It's made from a sturdier material, black threats braded together into a rope. He bows and lets her place it around his neck. When finished she cups his chin and lifts him to meet her gaze. "Strength." She says simply, and kisses his forehead.

"Acheron, I've drawn this special for you in the car." She pulls out a thick white band. Drawn in black is a ring with delicate detailing along the edge, and three lightning bolts striking through the middle, crossing each other, _The lines are so precise, she must be an artist to some degree, unexpected_. "It's the symbol of Acheron's family in the novels. I uh-have it tattooed on me too." She giggles as a blush kisses her cheeks. "I'm such a geek…" _Where is this tattoo, I wonder? And does she have any more?_

"Thank you, Ann." Itachi moves closer to her, and licks the corner of her chin. Which surprises all of us. He's usually so emotionless. _What is this girl doing to us?_

When Itachi moves away from her, Hidan shoves his shoulder, "You, dog you! Who knew you had it in ya?" he hooted, to which Itachi just shuts his eyes and sighs.

"And last, but not least, my little marionette." Ann calls to me. I don't move towards her, so she rolls her eyes and reaches to pick me up. She nuzzles her nose against my cheek, and I need to keep that rumbling in my chest in check. "I have something different for you too." I'm placed back onto the table as she fishes her hand into the bag. What she pulls out is something I wasn't expecting. It's a silver chain collar. It's comprised of a series of interlocking 'v' shaped links, not unlike the scorpion tail of my puppet. She frowns while looking at the piece, "I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not sure why I thought of you when I saw this, but…I knew I had to get it for you." Her eyes drift up to meet mine timidly. "I hope you like it."

 _How interesting._ My silence seems to distress her, because she starts worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, "Hm. Well don't keep me waiting." I lift up my chin, accepting her unexpectedly perfect offering. Her smile beams in full force, nearly blinding me with the beauty of it. _If only you can preserve a moment. Is this what the brat is always yelling about? No, there must be a way to keep this moment forever._

Sadly, the moment does pass as she stands to appraise us. We are now lined up on the table, watching her. "With these collars we are united. If anything were to happen, you can find your way home. My name and phone number are on your tags." She bends and gives each of us a kiss on the forehead, like I queen blessing her knights. She smiles once more then walks over to the other bags.

"Ok, I also got you guys some proper toilets." Her statement makes us all sweat drop. Up until this point we have been using the shower in the guest bath. She moves to set up the litter boxes, and clean up our mess.

Now that we are finally alone we get back to business.

"Hidan," Itachi says, "What did the healer say?"

"Oh, right." He shifts from paw to paw, "Says she might have this incurable disease. Needs have a fucking surgery soon too. A week from now."

I sigh, "What kind of disease, you fool."

"Shut the fuck up! I was getting to that part!" he glares daggers at me, and snorts. "Endo-me-tree-oh-sis, or something like that. Says it's fleshy stuff that's supposed to be inside her uterus, but's growing inside her body elsewhere, making her hurt with cysts and things. But we won't fucking know for sure, until the surgery, if she does have it or not. And that's not all." He sighs and rolls his head back, scratching himself with his back foot. "Somethings wrong with her fucking lady bits too. Says she needs to have it cleaned out."

"Wow, that sounds rough. Right Deidara?" Tobi asks a bit taken back by the nature of the issues.

Deidara grunts with a nod. "It's amazing she seems so…ok, un." He replies back.

"Oh she wasn't at first." Hidan assures us, "She was crying before she even got into the fucking office. That's why I came out, I couldn't fucking take it."

"You must be losing your touch, Hidan." Kakuzu says, obviously trying to get a rise out of him.

"Hey you, old bag! Wanna fucking go?! I'll kick your ass!" He yells, but simmers down in a moment, "Besides, it ain't like the rest of you haven't got a fucking soft spot for the bitch too." No one seemed to want to give an affirmative or a negative to his accusation. _So I'm not the only one then…_

"Ok kitties! Everything is set up." She says while walking past the living room and keeps going down the hall to her bedroom. "Time to get comfy." I hear her say before the soft clack of the door shutting, but not completely locking into place. Silence claims our group once more.

"Oh!" Hidan yells, startling us, we all jump. "I know where we fucking are!" He proudly proclaims.

"Yeah! Where, un?" Deidara looks excited. Tobi is jumping up and down. We all look at him expectantly.

"A village called Floor-e-da." He says happily, but doesn't continue.

"And in what country are we in?" I ask. His smug face turns into a confused one.

"Well…heh…she didn't say anything about that, other than it's always hot here…heh heh." We all sweat drop. Tobi, Deidara, and Kisame fall over completely.

"Are you kidding?" Kisame asks, recovering quicker than the rest of us. "That doesn't help us at all!"

"Well that's all she fucking said! It's better than fucking nothing, shit! Did you find any information? You were alone in the house, did you fuckers do anything helpful!" a few of us shared glances, "Cheh, that's what I fucking thought."

After a brief silence someone retorted back, and the bickering continues, but I'm not paying attention. _It's been a while, why hasn't she come out yet?_ I wonder as I quietly leave the group. Only Itachi seems to notice as he gives me a tort nod as I walk past him.

I make my way down the hall to the bedroom door. I see the light is on as it shines across the bottom, but I don't see any movement. I decide to put my ear against the door and listen. First thing I hear is breathing, but it's broken by hushed hiccups and sad moans. _She's crying._ I'm stuck in an awkward moment of indecision. Urges to bust into the room to find out why, and the confusion fighting to stay with the familiar and force myself not to care. _She's going to be the death of me. I've already died once…maybe that's why I'm reacting so strangely. The old me is dead._ With that thought bringing clarity to my mind I push open the door quietly and slither into the room.

I look for her. No, not on the bed. I push forward and I hear the pained moans grow as I approach the master bath. Thankfully the door is open and as I cross the threshold my eyes behold the most pitiful site I've ever seen.

Ann is on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chin. Her face completely hidden by her full wavy hair. Her back is leaned up against the large bathtub. Her arms wrapped tightly around her middle as she rocks herself back and forth. At first I'm at a loss what to do. Such anguish, but I'm drawn to her. My first step on the tiled floor jiggles my collar, and the tinkling of metal against metal alerts her to my presence. Her startled gasp as she looks up to me does not slow my progress. I take in the site of her; the amount of pain evident on her face, and the rate of my steps increase to a run. I don't stop until I've jumped and she catches me in her arms, burying her face against my neck.

"Oh Puppet." she gasps as her crying picks up force, her words are muffled against my coat. "I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to do!" she has her fingers buried into my fur, and I can feel her body shaking with the force of her sobs. Her emotions are so raw and powerful I can practically taste them. Like a hot summer rain. Humid and stale. Salty. I draw my paws through her hair as best as I could with the minimal range of movement this tiny body affords me.

"Hush now, there is no reason to cry. I won't let anything happen to you." I'm surprised at my own admission.

She gasps one more time, this one of a different nature, as she pulls back looking surprised, scared, and concerned all at once. "Did….did you just talk?" her question pierced my thoughts like a shard of ice.

"Ann? Can you understand me?" I ask back while placing a paw against her cheek, wiping off some of the tears that lingered.

"Y-yes? I think….am I…going nuts?" Her eyes are wide as she turns to look away from me, "I must be going nuts there's no way a cat can be talking right now. Did I mix up some medicine?" she keeps mumbling different excuses to herself. As she talks, I notice a difference in the air. I can't taste that sour salty flavor, and she is no longer crying, like it came and went with her mood.

"Ann, listen to me." I say as her eyes jump back to me, "You must help us. We are not actually cats. Do you understand?" I ask slowly, accenting each word. Her eyes start squinting at me, and she shakes her head like she's trying get rid it of a foggy conscience or headache.

"That's so weird…" she mumbles before setting me on her lap and wiping the rest of her tears away, "This stress must be making me delirious." She says with an air of finality.

"No, Ann. You are not imagining this." I stand on my hind legs and put my front paws on her chest. "I am talking to you." Her eyes land on mine again, and she chews her bottom lip.

"Thanks for coming for me, Puppet. I think I'm better now." She smiles at me, and just pets my head. She stands and walks to the sink to splash her face with cold water.

"You cannot understand me anymore…can you?" I ask feeling saddened by how brief her clarity had been.

Her eyes glance my way again, then back to the mirror in front of her. "If only you really could talk, Puppet." She shuts the water off and wipes down her face with a towel. She walks out of the bathroom and I follow. Her shoulders are hunched in, and her feet just barely leave the floor as she shuffles her way around the room rather than taking normal steps, her face seems flat with lack of emotion; all signs of her depression.

She sits up on the edge of the bed, and reaches over to grab some long socks she must have taken out earlier. As she slides the black tub of fabric over her left foot, I take notice of her right ankle. Tattooed there is a delicate depiction of a scorpion, surrounded by an intricate frame. _Interesting._ Before she has a chance to put the second sock on, I step up to her and place my paw on the tattoo studying it closer.

"Woman, why do you have this?" I ask.

"Oh, you like my tattoo, Puppet?" she bends and runs her fingers along the edge, "I drew it myself. I'm a Scorpio you see." She smiles with a wink and dismisses my paw as she puts her sock on. _Scorpio. How perfectly fitting._

 **End Chapter:**

Alright! I'm cranking these out faster than I thought I would! So excited! lols

So this chapter has some interesting things going on. How do you think Sasori's emotional growth is doing? Too fast? It's something I'm struggling with for all the Akatsuki. All in all, it's only been 24hrs in the span of the story, but I feel like Ann has solid ground with all of them that we've had POVs so far. So tell me how you feel about the romantic pacing. I'd love to know ^.^.

Until next time!


	7. Ch 7: Suspicions

Hello Lovely Readers: I know it's been a hot minute sense I've uploaded. This chapter wanted to fight with me. I apologize it didn't come out as quickly as the others. But the break also refreshed my mind. I have a good idea what's going to happen next ^.~. Trust that your pleas for more romance have not fallen on deaf ears! You'll love what happens next!

I do not own Naruto!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats: Ch.7 Suspicions

It's been a while sense Sasori left us to followed Ann into the bedroom. Hidan, and Kakuzu are having a verbal spar, with Kisame, and Deidara occasionally adding fuel to the fire to keep them going. With a sigh I accept that they need some form of entertainment. We tried to work the large black pain of glass while Ann was out, to little success. It just kept saying 'No Signal', it was very frustrating.

I find my mind wandering back to her gift. I know it's a collar for a pet, but she took a personal step. Specially drawing a symbol for me. I may not know this 'Acheron' from her tombs, but from what she explained during naming me I can see the comparisons. She certainly saw past my stoic façade. Further surprising me are the bolts of lightning in the symbol. They remind me of my dear brother, Sasuke, whom mastered the Chidori.

It's fitting. Everything she says or does for us oddly fits. One might think she knew us all before we were, unfortunately, morphed into cats. She talks to us, and almost always responds as if she knows what we are saying. It's quite astounding. There must be something more to her that we are not seeing.

That's why I let Sasori disappear without drawing attention from the others. He's quiet and unassuming enough to spy and gain information with Ann none the wiser. Being on his own, without the others interference, he may find the missing piece to our puzzle known as Ann.

"Hey, where did Sasori go, un?" Of course Deidara is the one to notice his absence.

"He's working, Deidara. Leave it be." I answer. He scowls at my dismissal of his concern, but doesn't press the issue.

"My my, Itachi. What has you so serious, hmm?" Tobi asks while slinking his way up to my side. "What do you think of our pretty lady?"

"I think she is more than what she appears to be." I answer.

"You like her! I can tell." Tobi nods, his head practically flopping forward and back. _Is it even attached at this point?_ That's when Ann makes her return into the living room. _Something has happened._ She walks through, looking around with unfocused eyes, and leaves again into the kitchen out of site.

"Whoa, what's gotten into her?" Kisame asks. "I've never seen her look so...aimless before." That's when Sasori comes around the corner, and joins us on the coffee table. There's the sound of dishes being put away in the distance.

"Hey, asshole, what did you do to Ann?" Hidan asks. Sasori just sighs and levels a glare in his direction.

"She was crying." he looks towards me, "Something unexpected happened. For a brief moment, she was able to understand me."

There are a few gasps of shock, and everyone looks extremely interested. "Elaborate." I tell him.

He shuts his eyes and begins, "She was on the floor, her sadness wracking her body. As soon as I was close enough I experienced a flavor in the air. Tasted sour and salty, unpleasant. And when I spoke she understood. Oddly as the taste subsided, so did her ability." Silence takes over our group.

"But what the fuck does that mean?" Hidan looks between all of us for an explanation.

"Genjutsu." I say, "It's the only thing that makes sense." Everyone looks to me now confused, "She was somehow able to tap into her chakra while her emotions were out of control. I've had my suspicion that she has a natural ability of reading people, especially their emotions. With her emotions untamed they enabled her to perform a genjutsu, opening her mind to Sasori. That's why he could experience her emotion in the form of taste, and why she understood him when he spoke. She is inexperienced, and doesn't have full control. The jutsu was muddled and lacked purpose."

"Well isn't this a happy accident." Kisame says smirking again, "Now how are we going to make it happen again?" he points out.

"I don't understand, un. I don't feel any chakra from her or anyone. Not even from all of you, un." Deidara says.

Kakuzu grunts, "It's these bodies. We can't feel chakra, because we are cats." he says plainly.

I shake my head no, "No. Sense we don't know much about where we are, it's quite possible this _Florida_ doesn't have shinobi. As for Ann, her chakra is untamed. It will fluctuate. Have any of you tried to tap into your own chakra?"

Deidara scowls, "I have, un. I feel it, but it's far away, like it's locked up. I can't reach it." There is silence as each of us focus on our chakra.

"I wonder if this is how the jinjuriki feel..." Kisame musses aloud as his eyebrows knit together in effort. I continue focusing on reaching my chakra, as I assume the others are doing the same. I can feel it bubbling under the surface. Straining against unseen bonds. It also feels weak with disuse. _How long have I been dead?_ I wonder as I feel the weight of our reality hit me at full force. For the first time in years, not sense leaving my little brother alone in an ocean of Uchiha blood, I felt hopeless.

"What are you doing out there?" I hear Ann call from the kitchen as the sound of glasses clinking and shuffling stops. We freeze and look up with surprise. _Can she sense us?_ "I feel like your all up to something." Her head peeks around the threshold of the kitchen her eyes narrowing as she takes us all in. "You all look suspicious." She stairs for another moment then her eyebrows relax as she sighs. "What am I saying? I really am going crazy…" she recedes back into the kitchen. There is a collective sigh of relief.

"Whew, what was that about? How could the bitch tell?" Hidan asks the obvious question.

"She's sensitive to chakra?" Kisame supplies.

"Doubtful. I wasn't able to reach my chakra, none of us were. There would be nothing for her to sense." I explain, "However, I do believe she is empathic." At the dumb looks I received from Hidan and Tobi, I sigh and explain. "She can feel the emotions of others. What were you thinking, and feeling before she noticed?" Understanding dawns on them as some bow their heads, and others have deep frowns on their features.

There's a crash from the kitchen. "What is WRONG with me today? You know what? Fuck it." There's a final slam, and the sound of liquid in a glass. Out from the kitchen immerges Ann holding a bottle, with the depiction of the devil dancing in one hand, and a tiny glass filled with an amber liquid in the other. "I've had a really shitty day, and I get the feeling I'm not the only one." She drinks the fluid, and saunters over, filling the glass again. With a quick movement, tipping her head back the drink is gone again. "Let's have some fun tonight. Hmm?" she pours herself a third and takes it down just as quickly. The air starts to smell like cinnamon.

"Is that alcohol, un?" Deidara asks with amusement in his voice.

"Shit yeah! Now that's what I'm fucking talking about!" Hidan says excitedly. "I could use a fucking drink too!"

"No one should drink alone." Kisame says with a chuckle, "Good thing she has us here."

Ann picks up the remote and like magic the pane of glass, that caused us so much grief earlier, is showing a picture once again. _Infernal thing._ The screen is scrolling through tiles of images as she nibbles her bottom lip, like she hasn't made up her mind. _Such an innocent expression. This woman is a paradox. Curses like Hidan, and yet is gentle and kind._ "Let's watch some anime. It's been a while. I think I can indulge myself, don't you think?" Tilting her gaze in our direction she gives us a wink. The screen shifts again, displaying cartoons. She's mumbling to herself while nibbling on her thumb "Something not serious. Like…the earlier episodes of Naruto, but I don't know if I feel like listening to him say 'Believe it' non-stop." _How can she always look so cu—wait did she say Naruto? Hmm, must be a coincidence._ She decides on a show called "Case Closed".

Hidan reads off the bottle. "Fire Ball Whiskey, huh?" he sniffs the glass. "Mmm smells like cinnamon. I like the bitches tastes!" he's about to lick the amber fluid in the glass when he's suddenly in the air with Ann tutting at him, "Uh uh, alcohol is not for kitties."

She drinks the shot, as Hidan starts to fight her. "Fuck you bitch! I'm a grown ass man!" Ann restrains him with ease.

"Don't be upset. It's for your own good." He is now completely wedged between her breasts. "I'll give you guys a treat later. Especially you for saving me earlier, my Silver Knight." She kisses him on the cheek and sets him on the couch. It's not often Hidan is without words, but Ann has somehow managed to have him dazed and remarkably quiet.

"Careful, Hidan. You are blushing." Kakuzu taunts.

"Tsh, shut up!" he shoots back, "…asshole…" he looks away embarrassed

She settles herself on the couch, and pulls out a black stick with bright red feathers on the tip. She begins waiving it in front of my face. "What are you doing?" I ask. She pouts cutely. "You don't want to play, Ash?" her voice is soft, eyes half lidded, and cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol. She is quite the site. The double meaning to her words, although not intentional, is not lost on me. I have to gulp down excess saliva as the feathers run up and down my arms. She giggles, "Mr. Stoic." _So innocent, yet the way she talks, and dances. It's enough to drive a man mad_. She dances the features along the table in front of each of us. All pretty much ignore the features. Kakuzu pushes them away. Tobi swats at them briefly, but decides to jump onto her lap instead. And Hidan found the features way too humorous. _What does he find so funny?_

We are now a few episodes into Ann's chosen show. Ironic the boy's situation. I can relate to Kudo, not being in your own body. Having to play at being something you are not. It doesn't upset me though. The situations he finds himself in are quite funny. The girl being none the wiser that he is actually her lost boyfriend in a young boy's body. He is in pursuit of a medicine that will transform him back into his original form. Just as we are. Perhaps there is a clue in this show, every story is based on some truth after all. _I wonder what other stories may help us._

 **End Chapter:**

Welcome to the end! I know I know. This one was annoying for me to write and it probably didn't read very well, but what do you think of Itachi's point of view? He is definitely the brain of the bunch. "Ash" is short for "Acheron", incase the change in her calling him that was confusing for anyone. Do you like where the plot is going? Again I don't want to make Ann a Marry Sue, so I'm not going to make her all powerful or anything. I like the idea of her being able to feel others emotions. We'll see how she develops in the furture ^.~

Until next time!


	8. Ch 8: Deidara

Hello my Beauties! It's been a while sense an update, BUT I think you'll love this chapter! It's a doozy!

I just wanted to give a few replies to some reviews.

 **Tanner Clark:** Cysts on the ovaries is serious stuff. Hurts like a mother f-er. I suffer from Endometriosis, that's why I know so much about it. I hope your cousin is doing better. I wish her the best of luck! And thank you for all your reviews!

 **bbb671:** (in River Songs voice) Spoilers ;)

 **AmbertheCat:** I promise I will upload as fast as I can! I'm committed to this piece! I'm still burning with excitement that I'm sharing my first story in a public forum. So don't worry! I will leave you craving more, but I'll never abandon you!

 **NarniaUnknown:** That is seriously the best compliment I could imagine receiving. I know how it feels reading a story and feeling utterly addicted, and I'm so happy that I could inspire that same reaction in someone else. It means the writing reads well, makes sense, and keeps you on your toes! Thank you!

 **WavyWavy AND roilian:** I KNOW! I fell in love with the genre "Akatsukitties". We need to band together to inspire a second coming of the fandom!

As for everyone else, thank you so much for your reviews! They truly mean a lot to me! But enough blabbering, let's get back to the story!

I do not own Naruto!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats- Chapter 8: Deidara

Today is nearly too much for me to take in. I can barely come to terms with the idea that I will be going under the knife soon. I'll need to speak with my human resources office to get the medical leave approved for work. I already have the paperwork from my doctor's office for it. I'll need to handle that when I get back in on Monday. The anxiety is heavy like a stone in my gut, weighing me down.

Then that asshole had to show his face. _Eddie._ I mentally hiss his name. After the hell he put my through. I gave him everything I am, and he used and abused me until I was nothing but a shell. Then broke it off with me. Talk about a huge waste of my time, and he tried to waste more of it today. I'm not having it. No more of his 'get rich quick' schemes. They never did him any good, and when they failed he'd yell at me for it. Nope, I'm done listening to anything he has to say.

The stress is getting to me. I even heard Puppet speak. Like…actual words. I was joking before but…I just may really need to admit myself to the asylum if this keeps happening. I'll worry about that later. I believe I'm not the only one in bad spirits today. My cats seem to be feeling down too. How do I know? I'm not too sure. I've always been able to get the gist of what people and animals feel. Like their emotions reach out to my heart, whispering their woes, and I can feel what they are feeling.

But enough about that. I've put my foot down! I'm going to relax for the rest of the day, and have a couple shots of my favorite whiskey, Fire Ball. _A couple of shots is all I need, I'm such a light weight._

Yup that, good cartoons, and some kitty love'n. We've already made it through a good chunk of Case Closed, and I have a mess of fur balls around me. Mask is purring away as usual across my lap, every once in a while he'll dine to swat at the feature toy I bought. He seems to be the only one mildly interested in playing with it. Stitch flat out shoved it away from him. Ash didn't seem to know what the hell to do with it. And Grim rolled onto his side as he made a sound, I could only guess, is a laugh. Yeah, all my furry Loves are weird. What a bunch of weird ass cats…

In my 'professional' opinion, my form of medication is working quite well. I am 5 shots in, cuddling and kissing on my cats as needed, and feeling pretty good. I never actually get drunk, just enough to lesson my mental load. I never go over 6 shots in one day. And I'm about to take my last dose for the evening. I reach over to the coffee table, as I do, Mask slides off my lap and onto the floor giving a startled cry. "Pfft, I'm sorry handsome!" I giggle at his amusing position on the floor. All four legs thrashing in the air. Who ever heard of a cat NOT landing on its feet? I finish pouring myself a shot, but as Mask jumps back up to my lap he bumps my arm causing me to spill onto the table. "Oh shit!" the mess spurs me into action. Throwing my legs off the couch, causing a chorus of meows as the cat's positions are upset as well.

I dash towards the kitchen, having to pause briefly from a dizzy spell at the threshold. I grab three pieces of paper towel and cross the hallway back into the living room, only to be scared out of my mind. I see Grim making his way to the mess, and Atom already licking the whiskey off the glass top. "No! What are you doing?" my outcry is horse from the alcohol, and it startles him, freezing in place. Locking his blue eyes to my brown, tongue still sticking out of his mouth, ready for the next lick. "Bad boy!" he winces at my tone. As well he should. He's in trouble for sure!

I begin walking over, but Atom starts coughing, and wheezing. _Oh no!_ His blue eyes roll back then shut completely. His little body stumbles towards the edge of the table. "Atom!" I cry feeling a piece of my heart shatter at the site, and hasten my steps. Time seems to slow down and I see him tumble over the edge, landing on the floor. Through the glass I can see him roll under the couch. "NO!" I all but through the table out of the way. Landing on my hands and knees, fishing my hand under the couch, searching for the feel of fur.

I can still hear him couching loudly, with strangled cries in between. The other cats are also yelling in distress. Watching over the edge of the couch as I search frantically.

 _Finally!_ I feel the soft strands and grab hold, pulling the bundle to me. "Atom!" I yell again, tears nearly spilling from my eyes. Seeing gold immerge, I'm filled with slight relief that I finally have him. "Thank God."

Time slows down again as blue eyes meet my brown, but what is attached is not what I am expecting. Instead of soft whiskers, slitted pupils, and a pink button nose surrounded by fur. I see the features of a human male. Crystal blue eyes rimmed with contrasting black charcoal, sharp nose, soft pouted lips, and smooth cream colored skin. My hand is not holding fluffy fur, but buried deep into the tangled length of silken human hair.

"Ouch! You're pulling my hair, un!" He cries with discomfort, then coughs. "Was…was that my voice?" he looks up at me. His expression is that of surprise and confusion, matching my own, as I can see it reflected back at me through his orbs. His voice surprisingly deep, unexpected with his delicate face.

The following silence is deafening as my alcohol addled mind races to comprehend what I'm seeing. There is a man under my couch, and if the amount of skin showing on his torso is anything to go by, a naked one at that. _Why is there a naked man under my couch? AND WHERE IS MY CAT?_

I feel the blood race out of my face. At first I'm terrified, and withdraw my hand quickly, stumbling back a few paces. It warps quickly to a fierce burning rage, and the blood rushes back to my cheeks just as quickly. "PERVERT!" I yell as I turn to find a weapon. The closest thing being my slender metal lamp on the end table. I brandish it in front of me after ripping the shade off. "Who are you and where is Atom?" my eyes are flashing around trying to catch a glimpse of my Little Explosion. "ATOM!" I call to him again, but not seeing anything else immerge out from under the couch.

"No no no no no, un." The man army crawls out from under the couch. I see the whole shebang as he stands and waives his arms in front of him in a placating manner, "It's not what you think.". _Yup. Naked, very naked. That's a penis._ He catches my eyes as they dip down below his waist a few times. Mildly confused he looks down at himself, and gasps.

He turns to the couch in search for something to cover himself, and finds my Darth Vader throw blanket. As he wraps it around his hips the cats start yelling at him. Especially Grim who is making that awful sounding laugh again. "Shut up, yeah!" the man says to my cat and it just makes me all the more furious.

"Don't you dare talk to him! Talk. To. Me." I hiss out as he turns back to face me. One hand still holding the blanket in place and the other in the air between us like he's trying to calm me down. "Explain yourself! Why were you under my couch and where is my cat?". Jaws, Puppet, and Mask gather around the man as the latter swats at the edge of the fabric hanging from his hips. Fear in me spikes again. "STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" Mask jumps away from the man as I commanded. Feeling fiercely protective of the animals who have dispelled the choking loneliness in my life. I will do anything to protect them!

"Ann, it's ok, un. It's me, Atom. Your little explosion, yeah?" He says pleadingly.

"What the FUCK are you talking about? I swear to God and all that is holy, I will destroy everything you are if you so much as TOUCHED a hair on his head!" thrusting the lamp at him to prove my point.

"Ann, please. Look at me, un." He tries again. "Look." He runs his hand through the length of gold hair that falls over his left eye, lifting it out of the way. I see both bright cerulean eyes. Something in those eyes stir emotions in me, causing my brow to knit together in concentration. I have a flash back to a dark parking lot, and seeing Atom's crystal blues for the first time. They have the same look now in this man. A mix of fear, worry, and…hope?

Slowly the lamp lowers a few inches, and my crouched attack position relaxes while standing up straighter. The right corner of his mouth quirks up into the beginnings of a smile. "Well…what do you think, un? Do I still look like a brooding artist?" he lets the hair slide out from his fingers, in an impressive flip. Taking a better appraisal of him now that the 'fight or flight' response has passed, I can see clear similarities between this man and my Atom. But he looks familiar in another way, I just can't put my finger on it…

I snort, and let a smirk grace my lips. "Please, you give new meaning to the phrase." He gives me a full smile now. Mask, Jaws, and Grim start meowing.

"So you believe me, un?" He asks hopefully.

"I believe I might have had too much to drink." His expression droops. " _And_ …that I don't _feel_ like you're lying…" the chorus of meows picks up again as he looks happy.

"Ann, it's so good to actually speak to you, yeah." He throws his arms out in excitement, momentarily forgetting the fabric around his waist. Grabbing it before it slides too far down, muttering a hushed curse. Ash gives one loud meow, and Puppet scratches Atoms ankle, "Ouch! I'm getting to that part, un!" he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "We are not actually cats. We are S-class ninja, and this un…" he gestures to the group of kits, "Is a jutsu gone wrong."

 _Wait…'ninja'…'jutsu'…what is this guy talking about?_ I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I can't believe I'm going along with this….so you are my cat Atom, who is actually a human. And the others are humans too." He nods slowly.

"It's hard to believe, un. But it's true, yeah."

"Ok, if it's true…" there's a pregnant pause as I walk up to him so we are less than a foot apart. "Are you ok?"

He looks surprised by my question, but he schools his features with a smirk and a light blush. "Yeah. I'm fine…I mean the transformation was kinda rough, un. But I've been through worse."

"Good." I back hand him as hard as I can across his upper shoulder. Which hurts me more than him I'm sure, because of all the muscles he has. He seems shocked though, that's a plus. "That's for scaring me!" he just chuckles, which spurs me into outrage. My hand is inching to fly a second time.

He grabs it out of the air between us with a smirk gracing his face. "Sorry I scared you, yeah. The first hit is free." His voice dips down "But you'll have to pay for the second one, un." His smirk grows as his eyes wonder up and down my body, his hidden meaning is plain for me to see. And I'm suddenly aware of my lack of proper dress in front of a very human, very male Atom.

"Atom! Have you always been this pervy?" I pull my hand back, "Jeez and I let you sleep with me." His smile grows even wider, "I mean. In my bed! Not with-with me. Gah! PERVERT!" My face is as red as a tomato, I'm sure. "Whatever." I look to the cats; they all look excited. I frown. _I'm going to miss my little fur balls…_ "Ok, so I'm assuming my favorite drink is what spurred this transformation?"

Atom nods "I believe it was the alcohol that did it, yeah." He picks up the bottle of Fire Ball. "Tastes amazing. Spicy, un. Kinda like you." His eyes land on me again, and I blush. _Someone's a flirt, but what does he—OH! Oh my god, he_ has _licked me before!_ I'm having flash backs to all the kisses, cuddles, and licks they've all given me. _All of them have!_ Another flash back to dancing in the kitchen. _I've danced like a whore in front of seven dudes!_

The blood drains from my face as the utter embarrassment consumes me, avoiding eye contact. "Ok well um…wait here, don't let them have any yet." I waive my hand in dismissal of the sour puss expressions I'm receiving, "I'm just gonna, um, go and find some clothes for you all first. I don't think my heart can handle the site of six other naked men all in one night." I dash out of the room as fast as I can. I need some fresh air without having a naked, flirtatious, muscular-GAh! _Stop thinking about it!_

I flee into one of the two spare rooms which my parents use when they come to visit, closing the door harder than I meant to. I heave a sigh of relief and take a few slow breaths to gather my wits. _This is crazy. My cats are actually people._ Setting into the issue at hand I pull open the closet to peruse through my father's clothes. The distraction, however fleeting, is nice. Taking out any shirts that aren't too…you know…father like. _God I hope these clothes fit them. I don't have anything else for them to wear otherwise._ My father is short, like me, so they might be ill fitting in that respect, but if that's the only issue, they'll live till I can take them shopping. Moving onto the dresser and pull out a bundle of shirts, some belts if needed, and other such necessities. _These guys are going to be wearing my father's underwear… Gross…_ At that last thought I can't help but chuckle. And once it started I couldn't stop. Next thing I know, I'm laughing so hard tears are falling down my cheeks.

 **Knock. Knock.**

"Ann, are you ok, un?" I hear Atom at the door. _I probably sound like a psychopath laughing in here by myself._

"Y-yeah, I'm fine!". I turn and open the door, and come face level with that smooth, toned chest again. Slowly my eyes rise and are entrapped by his blue orbs. Immediately I blush and take a big step back, finding the floor fascinating to look at suddenly. "I've laid out some choices for you. They are my father's clothes, so they might be short, but they'll have to do for now."

He smirks at my reaction reaching his free hand up to pinch my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm sure they'll be fine." Tilting my head back up to meet his gaze. "Thank you, un. For everything." He leans forward and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

For a moment I'm stunned. Frozen in place, until there is a hiss and Atom pulls back cussing in pain.

Looking down I see Grim who is still growling, and had just scratched Atom's leg. With the blissful distraction, I am able to control my body once again, and giggle. "Now boys, play nice." I push Atom's hand away from my face and step out of the room. "Atom, you can get dressed, I'm going to get a saucer for the others to drink out of." Before I walk away I look back down at Grim, and out of impulse I pick him up and carry him with me. He squeaks with surprise at first, but doesn't fight it.

I walk down the hall and into the kitchen with my furry bundle, lightly petting him with my free hand. "Sorry if this is inappropriate now that I know you are actually human." I say to him. "I'm just kinda sad." looking down into his amethyst eyes. "I'm going to miss this." He lightly touches his paw to my cheek, and I smile sadly. Burring my face into his soft silver fur I take a few calming breaths, then set back to the task at hand.

Returning to the spare room with a shallow bowl, the door is shut, so I give it the good old 'shave and a haircut' knuckle tap. The door opens slowly and I see Atom has chosen a black top and cacky shorts, they hang a little loose on his waist, and he is just finishing up tightening the belt. But all in all, he looks good.

"It's not quit what I'm used to. Do you have any fishnet tops, un?" at that my eyebrow shoot into my hairline.

"Fishnet tops? Uh…no…I may be more into goth style than most, but fishnet tops are not commonplace. Sorry." He nods with a shrug. "Alright, one down, 6 to go." I smile and walk into the room, putting Grim and the bowl down. I poor a little bit of cinnamon flavored liquid courage into it, and watch as one by one the cats file in. I take another look at all of them, and sigh again. "Alright, I'll get out of your hair now." Shutting the door with a finality that rang through my soul. _No more kitties…_ The thought has tears springing to my eyes. _No, I can't think like that. They aren't gone, just…changed. They are still here with me. They haven't left me…not like everyone else. But…What if they don't like me anymore? Not like they'll need me after this…_

Feeling world weary I look into the living room, and I'm pulled out of my somber mood by the site of Atom sitting on the couch dragging his fingers through his hair trying to untangle the mess with little success. _Ouch, that looks painful._ I turn into the bathroom right next door to the spare room, and nab a brush. I can also hear shuffling and manly murmurs in the next room. _I wonder what they all look like._

I walk up to Atom and hold the brush in front of him. He must not have noticed me approach because he looks surprised, but smiles quickly.

He reaches for the brush. "Thank—huh?" he looks perplexed as I pull the brush out of reach. I can't help a mischievous smirk from sliding across my lips. "Allow me. You look like you've punished your scalp enough." He chuckles.

"I suppose I have, yeah." I gesture for him to scoot over so I may sit on the arm of the couch, with his back facing me.

Perched in place I begin gently combing his hair. Starting at the tip and working my way up the length, inch by inch. Smiling all the while. "So I don't suppose I'm psychic and gave you the name you were born with." I pause a moment as he turns his head a fraction to peer over his shoulder. "So we'll treat this like a first meeting."

"Brushing someone's hair is a bit too personal for a first meeting, un." He teases.

"You're right." Laughing, "I'm not big on formalities anyway. So this will have to do." I've finish brushing, and each strand is sitting perfectly. "There. All done." I look proudly at my work until he turns to face me. Again I'm suddenly very aware of my lack of dress as a man's face is at chest level with me due to my higher vantage on the arm of the couch. "Um.." I cough to get the awkwardness out of my voice. I stick my hand out in offer of a shake. "My name is Ann. And I don't think I qualify as the crazy cat lady anymore."

He smiles handsomely and takes my hand in his, not shaking it, but just holding it. Rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. "My name is Deidara. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, un." He brings my knuckles to his lips and kisses them, keeping eye contact with me all the while.

Blushing madly, I don't like how this new development is turning out for me. I can hardly function with one man doing and saying things that makes me a simpering puddle of blushing mess, how can I handle seven of them all under the same roof?

 **End Chapter:**

SO? What do you think!? I know I may have diverged from the pattern I had going; a chapter in the point of view of each of the boys, but I have good reason for it! You'll see ;).

Please leave a review, and maybe I'll reply!

Until next time!


	9. Ch 9: A Mask by Any Other name

Welcome back everyone! It's been a while, huh? Sorry it took me so long, so I made this one extra long to make up for it. I hope you enjoy! And thanks again to everyone for the reviews, I love it! I live for the reviews! Please keep them coming!

I do not own Naruto

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats Ch. 9: A Mask by Any Other Name...

Again Deidara has me frozen in place with his flirtations. Warm lips against my knuckles like shackles all over my body preventing me from moving as my mind races, and my heart thumps heavily in my chest. _Is this going to be a new norm in my life_?

"Hey, paws off, asshole!" comes a harsh demand from the hallway breaking the spell Deidara put on me.

Deidara huffs and rolls his eyes, "Hidan, enjoying being human again, un?"

"Not as much as you, by the look of things. Fucker." As the new comer crosses the threshold I see he is a tall man, lean muscular build. He's bulkier than Deidara, but not overly ripped. His chest is bare; all he's wearing is a pair of black slacks that reach an awkward length of just past the half way point of his calves, the band of his underwear peeking out from the top. But the most striking feature is his light silver hair, and soft purple eyes.

"Grim?" I ask tentatively, standing up from the couch and making my way over to him. He smirks and tilts his head back. "Depends. Do you like what you see?" came the teasing reply as he tucks one hand behind his head and the other on his hip.

I roll my eyes. _Great, another flirt._ Smirking internally, _How should I deal with this one?_ I cross my arms and rest my chin in one hand, pondering his question. Slowly walking around him in a circle. I notice really how tall he is. The top of my head doesn't even reach his shoulders. His hair is quaffed and tidy, slicked back away from his face. Those unique eyes never leave me as I appraise him. Coming back to his front I nod "Not bad." I grab his hand off of his hip and inspect his fingers. Noticing his nails look like normal human nails now, nothing like the talons of death they were in his cat form. "I find your tools lacking, though." I comment as I stick out my tongue at him with a wink.

He blows a raspberry, "I'll show you 'lacking', bitch." Grabbing my hand, he pulls me forward. In a second I find myself firmly pressed against his body, with his arm around my lower back, locking me in place. His form curves inward forcing me to bow back, and press against him even more. Amethyst eyes are daring and teasing me. "If I remember right, you owe me for saving you from that asshole today too."

 **Slap!**

His expression is of shock as there is a glowing red hand print on his right cheek. "Don't call me 'bitch'." I pout at him. I can hear Deidara trying to hold back his laughter behind me from the couch. Grim -I mean- Hidan licks his lips slowly, and starts to grin down at me. More like a baring of teeth, rather than an actual smile. Very primal, somewhat frightening, and surprisingly very arousing. _Arousing? What's wrong with me?!_

"Oh Ann. You're such a fucking tease." He leans forward even more, bending me backwards further. I can't suppress the small 'eep' from escaping my dry lips.

"That's enough, Hidan." I feel relief as a timber voice commands Hidan to back off, and surprise that he actually complies.

"Aw, come on, Kakuzu. I'm just having some fun, I don't mean nothin' by it." Hidan straightens us out and pats my head a few times after releasing me from his hold. Smiling boyishly, like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. The contrast between this cute smile and the prior animalistic one is like night and day. _Oh god, my Grim is a psychopath._

"Hmmph, judging by that hand print on your face, I doubt Ann shares your idea of 'fun'." That voice rumbles and sends shivers down my spine. Looking down to the end of the hall I see another man, much taller than Hidan, and even more muscular to boot. His skin is a toffy brown, like he spends a lot of time in the sun. He's wearing a black muscle shirt, and a pair of dark brown multi-pocket shorts. His arms are crossed in a 'no nonsense' kind of way, and I can see a web of stitching in a seemingly random pattern weave itself on all of his skin my eyes greedily take in. His hair is a shaggy dark brown and is longer than Hidan's as it hangs around his ruggedly handsome face. I notice his eyes and am once again in awe of the striking unique seafoam green, and pale red colors.

I beam in recognition and gratitude. "Stitch." His eyes move from Hidan to myself. "Thank you." He gives me a stiff nod and approaches us.

"Ah-come on." Hidan whines, "Don't be like that, Ann. Kakuzu doesn't know 'fun' if it stabbed him in the hearts!" grabbing my hand once more, placing it on his chest above his own heart. Looking a bit pathetic and pleading.

 **Whack!**

Kakuzu smacks Hidan across the back of the head as he walks by. "I said, that's enough, Hidan."

"Jashin, Damn it!" Hidan removes his hand from mine. Rubbing the back of his head with a wince. "Kakuzu! That really fucking hurt!"

"Quit complaining before I do something a bit more permanent to you." Kakuzu threatens after turning back to level a glare at Hidan.

"Try me, asshole!" Hidan retorts sharply. "I'll slice you up so fucking good, no one will be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again."

I sweat drop at the testosterone in the air. _Jeez, what kind of men are these, threatening each other like that?_ "Hey now, no need to get violent." I waive my hands as I stand between the two glaring males. "It's all good…"

"Do not mind them. They are always fighting like this." A familiar melodious voice interrupts us. Turning to face the approaching male I notice he is quite different from the others. Shorter, only half a head taller than me, and lean, but not weak. His hair is a soft fire red with matching eyes. His face is aristocratic, with thick eyelashes. Another pretty boy, like Deidara. What throws me off is his expression, or rather lack there-of. It's what we were taught in collage psychology as 'flat affect'.

He's finishing off the last few buttons on the large black dress top, that swamps his smaller frame. His hands are long and slender. I can see how precise his figure movements are, well practiced, like a pianist. "It is quite a waste of time."

"Puppet." I smile joyfully, and run up to him, giving him a brief embrace. He may look emotionless, but all I can do is think back to what he said to me while I was crying on the floor in the master bath, and it warms my heart. _I owe him a lot for that._ He blinks at me as I pull away and tilts his head like he's pondering something. "That's for helping me earlier."

"Sasori. Good to see you _in the flesh_ , yeah." Deidara teases with a half-smile from his lounged position on the couch. _I don't get it, is that a joke of some kind?_

"Quiet, brat." Is Sasori's reply as we all make our way out of the hall and into the living room. I sigh, _Why is there such an attitude problem with this bunch?_

 _Sa-so-ri, Day-da-ra, He-dan, Kok-ku-zu_. I mentally annunciate their names, trying to commit them to memory. _I hope I don't fuck them up in the future._ "Ok, so forgive me if I slip up on your names in the future, because I'm not going to lie. I keep mentally reverting back to your cat names. Added difficulty because they sound foreign, like Japanese or something."

"What the fuck is 'Japanese'? Never heard of it…" Hidan asks while picking at his ear. _Ok, Ew…_

All eyes are on me now. Their curious expressions throw me off. _How can they not know of Japan?_ "Well…you know. Like from Japan. Like how WE are speaking English, because we are in America. They speak Japanese in Japan, and your names sound Japanese." I try to laugh off the tension, but their stares only increase. "You guys…really don't know?" again silence and staring. _Ok, now they are freaking me out a bit._

"You aren't making sense. In what country does Japan fall into? Fire, Wind, Sound?" The question comes from the hallway and I see a new person has joined us. The one asking is second tallest, just a few inches under Kakuzu, but what's most surprising is his ocean blue skin, and even darker blue hair spiking out from the top of his head. His eyes are beady and white with small black pupils, silhouetted by three horizontal openings on his cheek bones. _Are those gills?_ Even with his unreal appearance I do believe I find him handsome. His jaw is square and strong, and his body language puts me at ease, as he stands at the threshold leaning against the frame with one leg crossing over the other. Very relaxed and confident. He's wearing a white wife beater, and his hands are stuck into the pockets of black slacks that are more like capris on him.

I'm gob smacked at the sight, but distracted by that itchy feeling in the back of my mind like I've seen him before. But where? How could I forget someone that looks like a walking talking shark? This isn't the first time I've had that vague sense of déjà vu about these men. "What's wrong, Ann? Cat got your tongue?" his smirk is just as toothy as his cat form, so I obviously know this is my Jaws. His joke has me laughing, and I just don't have it in me to be scared of this very intriguing looking man.

"Oh I like that. Very puny." I give him a wink. Which takes him a bit by surprise, but his smile just grows wider. "As for your question, Japan is its own country."

"Interesting." Comes a smooth voice from behind Jaws, "Tell me, how are you able to accept all of this without so much as batting an eye?"

I thought I was gob smacked earlier, but the newest arrival had me so shocked I couldn't move an inch. Now I know my cat's human forms have been teasing my mind with familiarity, but him…now, he is someone you could never forget. Even if you are a casual anime watcher like myself. I am certainly no buff. I haven't even watched all of Naruto, which now I'm regretting, because the man that just walked into the living room is none other than Itachi Uchiha. Red eyes and all.

There are voices talking and saying my name, but I can't understand them. My eyes have tunnel vision and I can only look at Itachi as my mind races with confusion. _My Ash looks exactly like Itachi Uchiha. This has to be a coincidence; the alternative is impossible. I mean, yeah cats turning into men is pretty impossible too, but THIS is totally insane! He's not real! This can't be real!_ Seeing him in my living room is surreal, but it makes all the other pieces of the puzzle click into place. _That's why they look familiar! I've seen bits and pieces of them from the show! Jaws is his partner Kisame. Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, Hidan…they are all a part of the Akatsuki. That leaves Mask as Tobi._

"Here I thought she'd freak at the site of me, but I think you broke her…" Jaws, or shall I say Kisame says to Itachi as sound finally reaches my senses again.

"Itachi…" my voice sounds course as his name passes my lips. "I can't believe this."

"Hm? So you've heard of him before, yeah?" Deidara asks with mild interest, but mostly sounds offended I hadn't heard of him before. "Of course you've heard of the great Uchiha, un." He mumbles it more to himself rather than anyone else. I shut my eyes as bits of memory come swarming back to me from all of the spoilers I've read from , and random snippets of fight scenes thrown into AMVs from the earlier years of my high school life. _How did I not make the connection before? It seems so obvious now!_ _Damn, I was so spot on giving them names._ I think with pride.

My eyes roam over each of the men who are lazing about in my living room. Itachi hasn't moved an inch, just watching me coolly. None of them seem to know what to make of my silence, and stone expression as I take all the time I need to process this new predicament. _Jutsu gone wrong, S-ranked ninja…It would make sense if they are actually from the anime._ I still have alcohol clouding my mind, which helps in believing this work of fiction that is suddenly my new reality.

"Ann…" Itachi claims my attention again. His face is stoic as always. "If you've heard of me before than you must know which country -" to his surprise I hold my hand up and close my eyes, effectively shutting him up.

"Sorry, I need another moment." I cross my arms and begin pacing back and forth in front of the TV. I can feel their eyes follow me in silence. _How are a bunch of characters from an anime in my house! Why were they cats!? How am I going to break the news to them? And omg, they are the Akatsuki, a bunch of killers…right?_ I certainly don't know their whole story sense I stopped watching after the first season of Naruto for a combination of reasons, like not having money for cable anymore. All I have to go by is what I've read online. _Wait, Tobi has some serious back story none of the others know about. He's the actual leader of the Akatsuki, what is he going to make of all this?_

 _Actually…where is he?_ I take another look around the room, counting heads, and come up one short. "Mask, he hasn't come out yet, has he?"

"Huh?" Deidara practically falls off the couch in his surprise and outrage. "All that silence and pacing, and THAT'S what's you've been thinking about, un?"

I smile in his direction. "Jealous?" recalling back to holding him in the parking lot and how he began growling while I was petting Mask makes me giggle.

Deidara starts stuttering, like he's trying to come back with a response and failing, with a blush on his cheeks. I laugh at his reaction, and run my fingers through his hair teasingly as I pass him to leave the room. "Relax, I was joking. Anyway, sit tight everyone. I'm going to go check on Mask. Once he's settled, we'll talk. I know you have many questions." After I leave I can hear Hidan picking on Deidara, and a retort about blowing Hidan up to kingdom come.

Approaching the spare bedroom, I can hear quite a lot of shuffling about. _I know I don't know everything, but hopefully I remember enough to not die. What is his actual name again? He went by so many… I want to say it starts with an 'O'… Tobi… Tobi… Obi… Obit? Obito! That sound right, good job me._ I rap my knuckles against the door in the same pattern as before. I always mentally sing the tune _Shave and a haircut, two bits._

"Tobi." As I speak all the shuffling stops. "It's just me, I know you don't like to show your face, so I'm going to find you something, ok?" there's a breath of silence as I'm sure he is wondering who told me about his issue with showing his face.

"Ok, pretty lady!" comes the eventual cheery reply. I can't help but giggle at that. _Pretty lady? He's so cute._ Even though 'Tobi' is an alias and the hyperactivity and randomness is magnified so not to be suspicious, I know full well that even if it's an act, the basis of the personality is still Obito at its core. No one can act without drawing from some aspect of themselves.

I walk back down the hall and into my bedroom to search for something fitting the bill; covers all of the face, and not look stupid. I find a long black cotton scarf, and a large navy blue beanie from the back of my closet. "Whelp, this will have to do."

Back at the bedroom door I knock again, "Mask – I mean – Tobi. Can I come in?"

"Sure thing, pretty lady." The door creaks open a fraction, and I push my way in, shutting the door behind me gently.

At first glance around the room it seems empty. "Uh, Tobi?" I ask hesitantly. Everything in the room is ajar, _Wow, he must have been really desperate to find something to cover his face._ "Hey…where are you?" That's when I notice the closet doors are wide open, and the hanging clothes shift ever so slightly. "Tobi?" I walk over to the closet. _This is like a scene from a bad horror film. That makes me the dumb bitch that's about to die._ Deep breaths. _Relax, it's just Tobi, nothing to get worked up about._

I gulp down my nerves and push the hanging clothes apart. What I see breaks my heart.

Tobi is sitting in the closet on the floor, his back to me with his knees pulled up to his chin, head down so I couldn't see his face. "Oh honey, it's ok. You don't have to hide from me." I kneel down outside of the closet.

"Tobi doesn't like to show his face. Tobi is shy." He shuffles his body so his side is facing me now instead of his back.

"Tobi." I put my hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to hide from me… Listen, I've just figured out some big news that concerns all of you after seeing you guys in human form. I haven't told the others anything, I wanted – needed- to speak with you first, sense I know things, and I want you to know that you can trust me to not tell them anything you wouldn't want me to..." I pause and gulp down my nerves again, _Here goes nothing._ "I know that your real name is Obito." His body stiffens and for a few heart thumping moments we sat there, waiting for the other to make the next move.

He turns his head slowly, his face is still well shadowed, but I can see his eye gleam like a ruby. "Is that so, little Ann." His voice is timber and earthy. Rough. So different from the high pitched voice he uses when he portrays 'Tobi'.

"The thing is – ". My words are cut off as Obito launches himself at me. One moment I was kneeling on the floor, then there's the sensation of sailing through the air, and finally a rough landing on the mattress behind me. I grunt first from the landing, second from the large male body who is now crouching over me, hand around my neck. He's not squeezing, not yet anyway. Just holding me in place.

Instinct has my hands flying up to grip his, but he manages to snatch up my wrists with his free hand and hold them above my head. I can see his full face now. Half scared and twisted with wrinkles, the other smooth with a tightly closed eyelid. His expression is calm and cold, his hair is dark and shaggy, hanging between us. In that moment my mind decides to take a trip, _I thought he took another eye from Pein, I wonder what happened to it._ Funny how my brain does that. I'm in very real danger, but I notice small details and focus on them. It probably does that to preserve my mental stability, a coping mechanism of sorts. "Well then…" I lick my lips nervously, "Now that you're more comfortable, let me explain." And there's the second coping mechanism. Humor. I chuckle until the hand tightens just enough to cut me off.

"This is no laughing matter, Ann." He says. I can't help but notice in that second, with his rumbling voice in my ear, and my mind trying to distract myself from the danger, that he has his knee between my legs, and I'm in a very submissive position by a very handsome man. I can feel the beginnings of arousal pool in my abdomen, and blood rushing to my cheeks. Scares never bother me. They are like trophies that show what you have lived through. Survival, strength. Like with Kakuzu, I believe they should be shown with pride, not hidden. And they make someone all the more alluring to me.

His eyebrows pull together with what looks like confusion as he loosens his hold on my neck, and I take the chance to take some deep breaths. _How embarrassing. He can kill me in an instant, and I'm over here getting hot and heavy? Body, I know it's been a while, but this is not the time!_ Turning my head away trying to look anywhere but at him.

"Look me in the eye." he moves his hand from my neck to my chin and forces me to look at him straight. "Explain."

I take another gulp, and a second to suppress my urges. "I - You see - You aren't..." He sighs and squeezes my chin harder.

"Speak clearly, you are wearing my patience." His goad ticks me off, and the surge of emotion clears my mind.

"Fine. In my world, this world, you are a cartoon. A work of fiction. And I know about you and the other's because I am familiar with the show, Naruto."

He rears back and looks honestly puzzled. _Yeah, bet you weren't expecting that!_ "So I was right, the world is fake." He mumbles more to himself than to me.

I roll my eyes, "Well in _my_ universe yours is made up. I haven't had much time to think about all the implications. Parallel dimensions and all that. Just that you are a part of a show centered around Naruto and his journey of becoming Hokage. Believe it." I snicker at my one sided joke, biting my lip to stop from flat out laughing.

He sighs, "You don't make sense. You should be terrified, but here you are laughing. I assure you, I am no joke." he glares down at me, and again squeezes my neck. "If you know my name, then you know what I am capable of. Do you not fear me?" at this question my eyes soften, and I smile up at him as best I could while being half choked.

Here is a man who was used and mislead by someone to meet their own evil ends. He loved his village, he loved his team mates. So much so that he sacrificed himself in multiple ways. Sure he did bad things, but in the end he atoned. I can't be afraid of a man who is only guilty of loving too much. "Yes, I know who you are, Obito. So I'm not afraid."

He must have seen my resolve and honesty, because his cold expression melts and I can see the sadness again which I caught a glimpse of last night while he was in his cat form. He loosens his grip on my neck and wrists, using his arms only to support his weight above me.

After what felt like an eternity of silence, I slowly raise my right hand, reaching for his cheek. Pausing for a moment to make sure he wasn't going to react poorly if I were to touch him. He looks weary, but doesn't move away, so I continue. _He looks so tired, and sad..._

Gently I trace his eyebrow over his empty left eye, and settle my hand against his cheek, stroking his cheek bone with my thumb. "Besides, how can I be afraid of my Mask?" Smiling teasingly, I lean forward and plant a kiss on his scarred right cheek. Giggling at his surprised expression.

"Your Mask. Huh." He hangs his head, closing his eyes with a smile. He sits back on his hunches, no longer leaning over me. Head still hanging down so I can't see his face with his hair covering it.

Pushing myself up to a seated position, my hand brushes against something on the bed. Looking down to find that it's the scarf and hat I brought in with me. "I'd rather you not have to hide your face, but if you find it necessary still…" I pick them up and offer them to him. "Here."

He looks at me through his hair accepting the fabrics from my hand. Before I relinquish the bundle completely to his hold I look at him seriously, "Just…promise me. When we're alone, trust me enough to not hide from me." His singular red eye seems to bore into my soul. He finally gives me a quick nod and a smirk making me smile at him warmly.

I let go of the fabrics and he turns away, his back facing me. Making quick work of wrapping the scarf around his head, and placing the floppy beret on top.

He turns back to face me. His whole face is covered from the forehead down with the scarf, and the beret is placed sideways so it hangs over his empty eye. His right eye just peeks through the folds of the scarf, but it's shadowed well. He also has a large tuft of his thick dark hair sticking out from under the beret, which makes me giggle.

Next thing I know I'm tackled around the waist with a hug, "Thanks, pretty lady!" comes the muffled voice of Tobi.

All I can do is smile as I run my fingers through that wild bit of hair. "You're welcome. Now, let's go break the news to the others."

 **End Chapter:**

So there you have it. Did you enjoy? Hopefully you like the little flirty bits. Nothing too crazy yet lols. Have any suggestions? Please let me know!

Until next time!


	10. Ch10: I Got A Feeling

Hello Beautifuls: I know it's been a long time. Some unfortunate things happened. But I'm back, and this is another longer one for you. I hope you enjoy it! Please review! I live for the reviews! Also if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

I do not own Naruto.

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats Ch.10: I've Got A Feeling...

Honestly, this is a pleasant surprise. I imagined it going quite poorly. Expected it to, even. I mean, I am a walking, talking, shark-man, and probably the weirdest thing she's ever seen in her life. Usually people react…negatively.

Instead as I spoke, and capture her attention, she looks at me not with fear and repulsion, but a wide eyed sort of wonder, and is that awe? Such a sweet expression. Amazing. And then she laughs, her face lights up, and she looks good enough to eat. I'm liking this new reaction I can generate in a person, especially in Ann. Now I'm thinking of more ways to make her laugh. Such a normal experience, I've never had this before.

It's been a few minutes sense Ann has left us to our own devices as she tends to Tobi. She may regret that decision.

"So what the fuck do we do now?" Hidan asks, breaking the silence. Disrupting my thoughts. _He is so grating on the nerves._

"We wait for her to return, and have her answer our questions." Itachi answers from his spot leaning back against the wall. Arms folded and head down contemplatively.

"Well no fucking shit. Cheh." Hidan hops off the couch and stands in the middle of the room. "I'm talking about our fucking mission as Akatsuki. We all fucking died, encase you forgot. I'm pretty fucking sure we lost." _Uh oh, someone's touchy that his God didn't save his ass._

"Calm down, Hidan. Your yelling is irritating." Kakuzu speaks up. Ever the one to reel Hidan in when he gets out of control.

"Yeah, no use getting worked up about it. Just be cool, un."

"Yeah, be cool. Like Deidara when Ann caught him being jealous." I reply with a shit eating grin. Hidan burst out laughing, holding his sides. I even think the Puppet chuckled.

"Oh, you want some too, yeah?" Deidara stands in a huff. "Just wait till I get my hands on some clay. My art will blow you away, un!" _Riling people up is so much fun._ The smile doesn't leave my face even for a second. _I'm not afraid of your silly little bombs._

"I leave you alone for five minutes and you are already threatening each other." Ann says as she comes back into the living room. Tobi following in toe.

"Deidara sensei, look at me! Am I cool like you yet?" Tobi does an impressive twirl to show off his new mask.

"No, un." Deidara answers and folds his arms, causing Tobi to slouch, looking depressed.

"Aaaann, Deidara Sensei is so mean to me!" He whines as he falls onto his knees in front of her, hugging her waste and crying into her stomach. His forehead is cradled between her breasts, due to how short she is. She looks mildly uncomfortable, but hugs his head while stroking his hair comfortingly regardless. What she doesn't see is how Tobi shoots a side eye glare at Deidara. _HA! This is too good._ Deidara is fuming.

With a soft smile and a roll of her eyes she chides Deidara teasingly, "Be nice. To emulate is the highest form of compliment. I'm sure you're used to it, seeing how amazing your art is."

The stoke to his ego calms him, "Well sure, un. But no one can compete-wait...you haven't seen my art. How do you know, un?" Her smile becomes mischievous.

"The simple answer is that I have seen it, in all of its explosive glory." Deidara is positively beaming. Sasori shifts in his seat looking put out. _Uh oh, someone doesn't appreciate being left out of the artistic praise._ Ann must have noticed, because she speaks again to him, "I've seen your art too, Sasori. Beautiful, everlasting, and functional. In fact, I've seen all of your talents." She makes an open gesture to include us all.

"You have only known us as cats. How could you have seen us fight?" Sasori asks. Ann takes a deep breath like she's gathering her thoughts. _This will be interesting._

Tobi, whom was still coddled against her, pulls back and sits on his haunches clapping. "Yay! Story time!" he portrays annoying child with ease.

She makes eye contact with each of us, looking very nervous. When her eyes meet mine she gives me a gentle smile, and her body relaxes with a small exhale. _Huh, I wonder why that is_. "You guys aren't going to believe this, but here goes. You all are not of this universe. You are from a world filled with chakra, and ninjas. Giant toads, and tailed beasts. All of which are works of fantasy here." She pauses to gauge our reactions. _Fantasy? Sweets, I assure you I am very real._ "I'm not sure how to really say this, but you are all characters in a show called Naruto. It's a cartoon fallowing his life. Now before you start asking anything I want you to know that I haven't seen the whole show, and it's been quite some time sense I've watched it. I will not know everything, but I know enough. Like how you are all in an organization called the Akatsuki, your main mission is capturing the tailed beasts under the leadership of Pein. Also I do not know why or how you've somehow transported into my dimension." She takes a deep breath. _That brat has a show?_ "Now…one at a time, you may ask me anything." She sits down on the coffee table in the middle of the room so we are all in her vision.

The silence last for a few seconds until.

"Yeah I got a fucking question." Hidan raises his hand, "What in the actual Fuck are you talking about? 'Cause I know I'm real, Bitch. I want some proof." He crosses his arms stubbornly.

"I thought I told you not to call me Bitch, Bitch." Hidan looks surprised at her come back. To which she just cocks her eyebrow at him, daring him to reply. "You get what you give."

"He has a point though." Itachi surprises us all. For him to agree with Hidan, well it's unheard of. "Ann, do you have anything to support your claim?"

She blinks at him wide eyed just as surprised as the rest of us, "Uh…well…I can find something I'm sure…" she snaps her fingers, "I've got it! Hold on a sec." she turns and grabs the controller for the tv. She starts pushing buttons, and 'Youtube' is displayed. She starts giggling while typing in 'Akatsuki Funny AMV' on the screen. She finds something called 'Akatsuki Dance Right Round AMV'. Before she hits play she says, "Ok this is going to be awkward as hell, but this will be your proof. Remember…" she gives us all a meaningful stare, "You asked for it." Her voice drops a few octaves, foreboding, it actually sends a little shiver of excitement down my spine. _Ooo, I could get used to this side of Ann too._

She hits play and music fills the room as a video begins. The first thing we see are silhouettes, which look remarkably like us. Suddenly there are full depictions of us dancing to the beat of 'You spin my head right round, right round when you go down. When you go down, down.'. I'm gob smacked. My wit has completely abandoned me. _She wasn't kidding. That's us, but how?_ And by the time there is a scene of us all in what looks like some kind of girly uniform, I couldn't stand another second. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

"STOP! I can't take anymore!" I yell, apparently I'm not the only one who's reached their limit, because some are covering their eyes, and other's become vocal like myself.

"Please, in the name of Lord Jashin, make it fucking stop!"

"Enough, un! Why am I dancing like that?!"

"Don't torture Tobi! Tobi's a good boy!"

Ann pauses the video, and silence consumes the room. "I warned you." She shrugs her shoulders.

"That was very…unsettling." Sasori remarks.

"Never show us anything like that again." Kakuzu commands.

"Bitch, what the fuck was that?" Hidan asks.

"That is a fan made Anime Music Video: AMV. In my world, you guys are pretty famous. The show, Naruto, is the number one selling anime in the world…" She locks eyes with Hidan. "Bitch."

"Are you a…fan?" Kakuzu asks sounding concerned.

Ann blushes as her eyes drop to the floor. "Well…I'm no stranger to the show. If you're asking if I've ever made videos like this, no. But there is a huge fandom, I'm just…not as dedicated as others." She nibbles her bottom lip, "Actually…you guys will need to be very careful. It's kinda common for people to dress up as their favorite characters, and girls tend to 'glomp' cosplayers."

"I don't know what this 'glomp' is, but I don't like the sound of it, un."

"Oh you won't, Deidara. Basically it's when someone tackles you with a hug."

"If they do, I'll just fucking sacrifice them to Lord Jashin." Hidan shrugs.

"You can't do that, Hidan. Murdering people is illegal." She looks genuinely concerned as she addresses all of us, "If any of you kill someone you'll be arrested and taken away." Hidan scoffs.

"I'm a fucking ninja, you really think they can take me down?"

"Hidan! I'm serious!" Ann slaps her hand on the table top. The passion in her eyes is hard to ignore. _She's really worried for us. Are those unshed tears in her eyes?_ "I don't want to risk something bad happening to any of you! You don't have chakra here; you have no way of protecting yourselves…It doesn't exist…" There's a breath of silence.

"If there is no chakra…" Sasori begins, 'Than how were you able to understand me earlier?" She's taken aback as she blinks with confusion.

"I…I hadn't thought about that. I just thought I was going insane and imagined it." She giggles while rubbing the back of her head.

"No, Ann. You understood me perfectly." They share a look as she blushes again. _What did he say to her exactly, I wonder?_ "The question is, how? We have formulated a theory."

"Oh?" she asks.

"Yes, we believe you used your own chakra in order to understand him." Itachi states. "By forming a psychic link."

She laughs "Pfft, that's impossible."

"As impossible as seven men transported across dimensions, and turned into cats?" I ask her teasingly, and she looks flustered.

"But…chakra doesn't exist. I mean, not in the way it does in your world. It's more like a concept of balancing ones mental and physical condition to find inner peace. Not for fighting. Besides…" She looks lost, like a bit of her personality just died. _I don't like that face. She looks less appetizing like this._ "I'm nothing special. I'm just…me." She sighs. "Well anyway, let's talk about how you guys got here. What is the last thing you all remember?"

"Fucking dying." Hidan mumbles dejectedly.

"But you can't die. Lord Jashin wouldn't allow that. You're his favorite." He chuckles with a dark smirk.

"Yeah, I fucking am. But I'm here, same as the rest of these assholes who died."

"Ok, so all of you…died…" We all give her the affirmative. she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "Wow, that is something I'd really rather not think about…"

"But you had to have known that we die. Sense you've seen this show, un." Deidara points out. She holds up her hand in a silencing manner.

"I already told you I haven't seen the whole show. I only know what's been spoiled for me, so I don't know how all of you die in detail, and I'd rather not now that I actually…know…you guys." _She looks honestly sad…it's touching. No one's ever cared about me dying before._ She sighs, "But now we know where you are in the storyline. The show ended, and now you are here. As for the why, I'll leave that up for you guys to ponder, because I have honestly no idea. You guys have more knowledge than I do."

We look amongst each other while getting caught in our own thoughts. _Why are we here? Who sent us? Why after we die?_ Until there is a low growl.

"What the fuck is that?" Hidan asks.

Sasori sighs as the sound repeats itself a little louder. "Really, Sasori? It's you again, un? Man I'm never going to get used to this." Deidara laughs.

"Silence, brat! I haven't wanted nor needed sustenance in over a decade! Of course I'd be starving!" Ann giggles, cutting in between the two artists.

"I was getting pretty hungry myself, but I didn't want to interrupt the conversation. You're probably all hungry too. You've had nothing but cat portions." She hops up from her seat on the table. "I'll go whip something up." She saunters out of the room.

There's a tummy grumble again, and Deidara burst out laughing. Sasori just looks pissed. _Man, not eating for over ten years. I couldn't stand living like that. I couldn't pass up on eating delectable meals._ My mind wanders to the woman who's no longer in our presence with lecherous thoughts. _Such a tiny dish. I wonder what she'd taste like, I bet she's as sweet as I imagine._ I smile wolfishly. _Speaking of whom, someone should help her._ _I'm coming my Sweets._

As I leave the room, Itachi locks eyes with me. I gesture with a tip up of my chin where I'm headed, and he gives me a nod. _Nosy bastard._

Walking into the kitchen I see Ann on her tippy toes, leaning onto the kitchen counter, reaching for a can of something in the cupboard. Her shirt is riding up her side from the stretch. Those bedtime shorts cup her round cheeks, and I can't forget to mention those cute knee high black knitted socks that drive me mad. Her ass is pushed out from leaning onto the counter like an offering on an altar for some sex god.

I internally grown, _Damn this is too good._ I approach her slowly so not to startle her. Taking another moment to admire the view as she wiggles from the effort of reaching. As much as I'd love to keep watching her struggle, that is not all together unamusing, but she could hurt herself as she tries climbing onto the counter. _SIGHS, ok, time to help._ I stand behind her, our bodies only a breath away from each other. Easily I reach around her and into the cupboard, plucking out the can she was aiming for.

She had just placed her knee onto the counter. Seeing my arm makes her gasp and lose balance. Taking a small tumble back against my chest.

"Oh!" I put my hand on her shoulder to steady her as she looks back up at me startled. "Kisame…" she breaths out with, is that relief? As my name passes those soft lips I feel that familiar shiver run down my spine. _How does she keep doing that to me?_ "You scared me." She giggles.

I grin back at her and hold up the can in offering, "Sorry, Sweets. Looked like you were having some trouble."

She rolls her eyes. "Pfft, yeah I know. I don't even know how it got put onto that shelve. It's way too high for me." She laughs again while accepting the can from my grasp. She turns around so we are face to face. "Actually, sense I have you, I could use some more help. If you don't mind?" I nod. "Great!" She slips out from between me and the counter. She bends down to the bottom cabinet and pulls out a large pot. Putting it into the sink, she turns on the water. "Can you bring this to the stove for me when it's full?" she smiles with embarrassment.

 _That's all the needs from me?_ "Sure, Sweets."

She blushes. "Thank you." She returns to watching the pot and shuts off the water when it's full. She steps back so I can lift up the pot that's easily holding 5 gallons of water. Before I place it on the stove, I look at her with an eye brow cocked. _What's all this for?_ She understood my silent question. "I've got seven full grown men in my house. You guys will go through a lot of pasta." I shrug and place the pot onto the stove, as directed.

She opens a cylindrical container holding salt and starts pouring it in. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"Salting the water." She sets the container aside and turns the dial on the stove. "Like my grandmother always said, 'Pasta water needs to be as salty as the sea.' ". She bends over retrieving another much smaller pot than the first, giving me another glorious glimpse of her ass as she does so. _She's got to be doing this on purpose…Such a tease._

Putting the new pot on the stove she starts throwing in chopped peppers and onions, with a good spoonful of garlic. In no time the air is filled with a heavenly aroma as she stirs them around.

She begins opening the large can I helped her retrieve, "Smells good already, Sweets." I compliment as I lean against the sink with my arms and legs crossed, just watching the little lady work.

"Thank you!" she smiles at me as she pours the can of thick red liquid into the pot with the vegetables. "Another thing my grandma always said. 'The way to a man's heart, is through his stomach.'" She giggles after giving me a wink. "I'm no gourmet chef, but I'm not a novice either." Throwing some dried herbs in, she stirs everything together. Placing a lid on it, she turns down the temperature. "Now we're just waiting for the water to boil."

"What, exactly, are you making?" I ask her, and she pauses while pulling out a few long boxes from the cupboard.

"Oh, I suppose you've never had this before." She smiles at me in that delectable way again. "I'm making the food of my people. Italian spaghetti and tomato sauce. OH! For tomorrow I should make Portuguese chicken and rice! It's so exciting cooking for people again!" she claps with her enthusiasm. "Oh the water is boiling." She opens the boxes and drops what I assume to be the spaghetti in. Looks like noodles. Briefly stirring, she sets a timer.

We can hear some more commotion from the living room.

"You're a fucking piece of work, you know that? I ain't afraid of your stupid ass bombs!"

Ann sighs, "I should break that up…"

"Why?" I ask her with a smirk. "They do this all the time. They never really do anything to each other."

"But you also had Pein, whom I'm sure broke up the fights." She retorts with a giggle.

"No, we aren't children. We're ninjas. We know how to work as a team." She looks a little worried.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I was just joking—" I chuckle which cuts her off.

"No worries, Sweets. No harm done. I'm more worried for your safety." She lifts a brow in askance. "The way you are goading Hidan. Calling him a bitch. You need to be careful."

She blows a raspberry, "Pfft, I'm just teasing him. I'm not actually offended by it. I just think he honestly can't think of a pet name, so he falls back on his vulgarity. You should give him some credit. When he stalked me this morning, he really did help a lot. I wouldn't have been able to hold myself together without him." She looks down smiling in remembrance. "He was…sweet. I don't think he would hurt me."

The timer rings, making her jump back to the present. She grabs a ladle with little claw shapes on the edges and stirs the pot. She pulls out one strand of pasta and blow on it. She picks it up between her fingers and feels it. Her focus is astounding; the way she is checking for quality of texture. _She takes pride in this, I can't wait to taste what she made._ She takes a small bite, shakes her head, and sets the timer again.

"Almost, but not quite done." She grabs a long serrated knife and smirks at me mischievously. "It's a perfect time to sample the sauce." She opens a long loaf of bread and cuts off two pieces from the end. "This is my favorite part, and you get to join me because you helped." She hands me a piece of bread, and opens the pot with the red sauce in it. She dips the bread into the sauce, gives it a swirl and holds it up to her lips to blow on it.

I follow her lead. Her eyes never leave my face, and her smile never falters. _She's gauging my reaction. She wants to know if I like it or not. We shall see._ I blow on my bread as she does, locking eyes with her. And we take a bite at the same time. I wasn't expecting the flavors, but they were delicious. Savory, sweet, and a little tangy. Garlic, basil, oregano. All well balanced. Small pieces of peppers and onions cooked to perfection. I am in heaven.

Ann's giggle tickles my senses and bring me back down to earth. "I'll take that as a compliment." She gives me a wink.

I guess my expression gave me away. "Sweets, if you keep cooking like this. I'm never gonna leave." She laughs.

"Who says I want you to leave?" She gives me a cheeky smile. The timer rings again, and she jumps, making me chuckle. She gives me a light smack on the arm, and a pout for laughing at her.

Again she pulls out a strand of pasta and gives it pinch and a nibble. She nods her head. "Alright, it's ready. Please drain the water in here." She shoos me away from the sink and places a bowl with holes in it. I follow her direction, and dump the pasta and water into the bowl so it will drain. The steam is heavy in my face.

She starts setting the table, with eight places. Thankfully her kitchen table is long enough to accommodate. She grabs a large bowl and puts the pasta in, drizzling it with olive oil and mixes it around, depositing it onto the table. Next was the sauce and the bread with butter. Watching her sway to and fro making the simple mundane task seem like a choreographed dance. I'm enchanted.

Her smile is blinding with emotion foreign to a monster of a man like me. So gentle, accepting. "Dinner's served." Such a new feeling. _Is this what they call home?_

 **End Chapter:**

The video they watch is on youtube, if you'd like to view it. Credit to the maker.

Akatsuki Dance Right Round AMV. By: AkiraPokedollar

I just searched, same as Ann did, and found it. I thought it was well done, and would be hilarious if the guys reacted to it.

Of course the remade song in the video is owned by the creator "Right Round – Florida". I take no credit.

I don't know where I came up with this idea that Deidara is the jealous type. I hope it's not OOC.

Do you like that Kisame is a totally food obsessed? I love that he's such an instigator, and likes to tease everyone. Especially Ann lols. Again I hope he's not OOC.

Please leave a review! I'd love to hear what you think!

Until next time Beautifuls!


	11. Ch 11: Money Talks

**Hello my Beautiful!** **:** So sorry that this chapter took so long to get out. I had a lot of family and personal issue come up, but I'm feeling much better, and I'm looking forward to writing more often again! Please don't be too mad at me! Anyway, this chapter was a bit difficult to write, and I hope it reads well. Please enjoy!

I do not own Naruto!

Tiny Terrors: Akatsuki Cats: Ch. 11 Money Talks

I've been watching. Observing every detail, every interaction, and I can see a pattern forming. One that could breed conflict, of the deadly variety. And at the center of it is a short civilian woman. Living as long as I have, I know women tend to be more trouble than they are worth. Especially when they drive team mates against one another. Granted I'm not overly fond of anyone of the Akatsuki, but I am aware of how important it is for us to work together. Especially with these interesting circumstances.

It's hard to believe this tiny woman, no **girl,** has caught the eyes of the whole team. Not me, of course. I'm too old to fold over from such things. She's no ninja with a fascinating ability for me to steal and make my own. She's not athletic, she is actually rather robust. She isn't even some great beauty. Brown hair and eyes, glasses, with round cheeks that dimple when she smiles. Sure her chest is large for her height, but by all other accounts, she is…average.

That said, I still respect the little lady. She is surrounded by S-Class ninja that could easily take her life, but she is not fearful. In fact, her remarkable fierce protectiveness of us, however unnecessary, is a wonder. Her spirit reminds me of the ocean. Calm one moment, but when provoked is like a raging typhoon. It's quite the sight to behold, like earlier this evening when she believed Deidara was a stranger hiding in her home, and had done something to 'her Atom', as she so puts it. She had come alive, electric, and I don't just say that because she was brandishing a lamp as a weapon. I suppose…she's not so dull, for a civilian.

"Dinner is ready, guys!" The smell of food has been torcher. She was right. Eating nothing but cat sized portions, and suddenly being human size again, creates a tremendous hunger. Her attentiveness to our needs is adequate.

"Fuck yeah! I'm starving!" Hidan hollers and charges into the kitchen.

Tobi shoots after him "Don't forget about Tobi!" He yells, half stumbling, half running through the threshold in an impressive dance of flailing arms and legs. _Such a nuisance._

Crossing the threshold myself, I see a simple spread. Some kind of noodle with red sauce and bread with butter. _I wonder what this is._

"It's nothing fancy, but it's what I've got that'll feed all of us." Ann forces a smile. _She must be nervous. Ever sense we are in human form, she seems…different. Awkward. Friendly, but she must not be very good at being around people. Heh, I don't like_ people _either._

"Who the fuck cares? It's food!" Hidan drops himself into a chair and reaches for the bread. A wooden spoon slaps against his wrist, causing him to pull back with a yelp. "What the fuck was that for, bitch?"

"Manners." Ann locks eyes with him, wooden spoon in hand. Her lips slide into a mischievous smirk. "Bitch." _She's goading him. How foolish._ _Although, there is something appealing about a daring woman._

Hidan slams his fists on the table and stands up from his seat, sending the chair squealing back a foot. Looming over the table. "You got a real fucking problem. You know that?"

"Well, it's rude to just start eating when no one else is seated yet." She stands her ground. "And have you been calling me 'bitch' this whole time while you were a cat?"

"So what if I have? I'll call you whatever the fuck I want. Crazy ass bitch." There's a breath of tension as the rest of our group watches the interaction carefully. I see Kisame, and Deidara physically tense up in preparation to jumping in to the fray if needed.

Her cheeks puff up with indignation. "So you have! Asshole!"

"Whore!"

"Bastard!"

"Bitch!"

"Dick!"

"Fucking - " _Don't do it Hidan._ " – cunt!" he fires back. _He just had to say THAT word…_

Ann's eyes widen almost unnaturally, and suddenly there's an electrical charge in the air. Like static licking along my skin. "Mother fucker. Cock sucking. Prick!" She says while leaning over the table so they are only a few inches apart. Silence consumes the room as the two stare each other down.

Remarkably, Ann's lips start twitch up into the beginnings of a smile, causing Hidan to snort and start to laughing. "Heh- HA! Hahahaha!". Looking every bit like the psycho he is.

Ann snorts softly and joins in with the laughter. She calms down long enough to say "I enjoy our talks, Hidan." In between giggles.

"Yeah, alright, bitch." Hidan says while sitting back down into the chair. _What a strange interaction. Hidan didn't even try to kill her._ Kisame and Deidara relax their stances with a sigh of relief and a look of confusion.

I hear Sasori whisper to Itachi, "What did we just witness?" the answer is just a shrug.

"I love your laugh, by the way." She says while grabbing the plate in front of Hidan, putting a hearty portion of the pasta with a ladle of the red sauce on top, then hands it back to him. Hidan just snorts and rubs the back of his head, looking a bit sheepish at the compliment.

She continues grabbing plates and dishing out portions, and glances up at the rest of us. "Why are you guys just standing there, like a deer caught in headlights. Come eat." She smiles warmly. She finishes filling the last plate, which is hers, and sits down at the head of the table, next to Hidan who is to her right.

I take my usual place next to my 'partner'. Kisame takes the seat next to me so he is next to Itachi, whom is sitting at the end of the table across from Ann. Deidara sits next to Ann on her left, with Tobi next to him, and Sasori after him.

"You have quite the mouth on you, Ann." Kisame remarks with a chuckle and one of his signature toothy grins.

"Yeah well, I grew up with an older brother." She blushes with a timid smile.

"So, Ann. What is this?" Tobi asks while poking at the noodles with his fork.

"This is spaghetti and tomato sauce. And the usual, bread and butter." She answers patiently.

"Ann says this is the 'food of her people'." Kisame adds. "The Italians."

"Italians? Ann, I thought you said we are in America, aren't your people Americans, un?" Deidara asks.

"Well, you're right Deidara. America is called the great melting pot. We have people from all different cultures and ethnicities living here. My family is a mix of a few, but the big players are the Italian and Portuguese cultures. But, yes, we are still Americans." Deidara nods in understanding, and the table is quiet again. All are staring at their plats. Tobi is pushing the food around.

Ann twirls her fork in the pasta. "Well? Dig in. Unless you need me to taste each of your plates for safety again, but one of your own watched me make it from start to finish, so I think it's a moot point." She says mater-of-factly and takes a bite of her dinner. Itachi makes eye contact with Kisame, who gives him a nod and is the first to start eating.

"Finally, I'm fucking starved." Hidan digs in with earnest, making Ann smile, and the rest of us grimace at his poor eating habits.

And so dinner proceeded without any notable happenings.

"That was the last plate. Thank you for helping me clean up, Tobi." I watch Ann smile appreciatively at the most knuckle headed member of the Akatsuki from my spot at the table. Leaning back with my arms crossed. I wanted to observe more interactions.

"Oh sure, no problem. Anytime, okey dokey?" Tobi says as he pats the top of her head. A dusting of red graces her cheeks as she rolls her eyes at him. The fact that Tobi seems to be behaving himself, and is attentive towards Ann, makes for a very odd sight. _I wonder what they did in that room alone._ _Of course it's no concern of mine._

"Hey, Ann. Is there anything that I can do, yeah?" Deidara asks her, with a foe casual air. Leaning against the door way, examining his nails. _Look at him vying for her attention. Nice try, idiot. I can see right through you, and I bet Ann does as well. So childish._

"No, thank you, Deidara. The next thing I need to do is some financial planning. So I actually may need your help, Kakuzu, to keep us in budget." She addresses me with a timid smile. My interest is immediately peeked. _I do love money…_ I grunt my acknowledgement of her request. "Alright, I'll go get my binder."

She trots out of the kitchen, but I don't miss that she makes a brief stop at the living room table to pop a pill before she leaves my line of sight. _Which one did you take, Ann?_ I watch Itachi as he inspects the bottle; he seems to hold it very close to his face in order to do so. _Ah, so I'm not the only curious one._ He places the bottle back, making eye contact with me, his eyes squinted, and gives me a small nod. He sits back on the couch between two snoring Akatsuki members, Hidan and Kisame, who were easily knocked out after that filling meal.

A moment later, Ann walks back into the kitchen holding a very large binder. "Ok…" she heaves the bundle onto the table. "So basically just some number crunching, so I know what money I have available to use freely tomorrow."

"What are you buying tomorrow?" Sasori asks while fiddling with some wooden pieces he found from somewhere.

"Well, you boys need clothes, toiletries, and not to mention food. I thought I made enough pasta tonight to at least have some for left overs, but that didn't pan out after a few went for seconds." She laughs while looking over to the couch at the two culprits, Hidan and Kisame are still sleeping noisily. "They're out like a rock."

She focuses again on her bundle opening it up and pulling out a folder, a pad and paper, pen, and finally a calculator.

I grab one of the folders titled 'The Future Is Now', and inside I see an impressive array of charts, and graphs illustrating some financial planning for retirement. _Impressive._ I set it aside as Ann holds up another folder, this one has information that is broken up day by day. "This is my billing statement that I fill in every time I spend money." She slides over her purse and pulls out three slips of papers. "These I haven't taken into account yet." She takes her pen and writes down what the money was for, and how much, making quick work of the math. Subtracting it from the total. "Ok, so currently I have $450 after utilities. That isn't a lot. Unless I dip into my savings, which I would rather not. I do get paid in two days, so as long as we keep in budget it should work out fine." She looks up from her writing and makes eye contact with me across the table.

Suddenly the woman in front of me is not some short girl who is a tolerable nuisance. An unfortunate necessity. No, the look in her eyes is so sharp, and shrewd. Her mind isn't simple like I had assumed.

Her glasses are sliding down the gentle curve of her nose as she is standing, slightly leaning over the table. Unwavering brown eyes looking over the rim of her glasses at her papers. Which, come to think of it, the design and shape of her frames are so simple, plain, and look easily breakable. Probably the cheapest option she could find.

My mind briefly wanders through thoughts of the whole house. Everything is simple, and minimalistic. Another sign I missed. This is a woman after my own hearts. Fiscally responsible, and serious when it comes to brass tax. Doesn't spend money on frivolity.

My focus returns to her eyes, and it's like seeing her for the first time. This small intelligent woman, who can look so cold and unyielding as now, but can also show such kindness and compassion at any moment. Watching her plump lower lip move as she talks I find myself wondering how can this woman could have so many facets?

"I need you." These words tear me out of my revere. I snap back into reality, mentally scolding myself. _Damn woman talking about money, getting me distracted._

"What did you say, woman?" She tips her head to the side confused why I didn't hear her the first time.

"I said I need you, Kakuzu. To help me keep everyone in line and most importantly in budget. We really don't have any wiggle room." She taps the tip of her black pen against a new piece of paper I hadn't noticed her writing on. A shopping list, by the looks of it. Breaking down by store, products, and amount allotted.

After a cursory glance, I lock eyes with her once again. Sitting up in my chair straighter, arms still crossed, I lean forward towards her. Our faces are mere inches apart. I place my hand on top of hers which was resting on the shopping list. My course palm easily devouring her smooth fingers as I slide the paper toward me. Gaze never breaking, and by the time our fingers are no longer touching, her face is a lovely shade of red, and the man in me feels supreme. _No wonder the other's toy with her so much. Yes, I think I like this woman too. How interesting._ "You can depend on me."

 **End Chapter:**

Alrighty, there you go! How did you like it? I hope Kakuzu doesn't seem forced, or robotic. I kinda want him to be the most mature out of everyone with out being a complete kill joy.

Reviews are appreciated!

ANYWHO! See you next time!


	12. Ch 12: A Promise Sealed In A Kiss

Updated chapter from 2016. Fixing some continuity for the future chapters and some spelling issues. Sorry for the long wait, two years went by fast! Life ::shrugs:: what can ya do?

Don't own Naruto, just Ann.

 **Ch. 12: A Promise Sealed in a Kiss (updated)**

Ann POV

"Whew! Another load of laundry done." I sigh contentedly at my work as I stretch my back out. I needed the distraction after what Kakuzu pulled _. What was up with that look? And caressing my hand? I had to get out of there quick._ In fact, I ran as fast as I could, mumbling a 'Thanks' and excuses to leave. _I'm such a chicken! And he's too much man for me to handle!_ I lament at my own awkwardness. I pout deeply and gently rub my abdomen, which started to ache.

"Ann, un?"

 **GASP**! Flailing wildly, I spin around to face the speaker, putting one hand over my heart from the surprise. "Oh, Atom! It's just you." I release a sigh, but immediately notice my mistake. "Oh shit! Deidara, I'm sorry. Gosh, I keep calling you the wrong name." I look at him apologetically.

He waives his hand dismissively. "Eh, it's no problem. This Atomic Bomb, you named me after, sounds like the epitome of art, un." He smirks with a flourish of his hand, and I can feel my blood rush a little faster. "I take it as a compliment. Your gift of naming is very apropos." _AND he's_ _back to_ _calling himself a work of art._ I smile at him with a giggle. _Men and their egos._ "Anyway, I was wondering if you needed any help." he asks, I raise my eyebrow at him, and he looks away sheepishly. "It's just boring, ya know. Un…" He sticks his hands in his pockets, but I notice his eyes drop down and observe my left hand, which is still tenderly rubbing my pelvic area. _He noticed I_ _'m aching,_ a _w he's so sweet._

"Sorry you're bored. I was just taking care of some chores. If you want to help, could you bring this basket of laundry into my room for folding?" He nods and picks up the basket, looking up at me with that cheeky smirk of his. When suddenly it turns down to a look of confusion. _W_ _hat_ _'s that face for? W_ _hat's wrong_ _with him_ _?_ Then with a puff of smoke and a popping sound straight out of a magic show, Deidara was gone.

The basket clatters to the floor, and out of the white smoke, flutters Deidara's shirt and pants down on top of the clothes in the basket.

"What the hell! Deidara? DEIDARA!" sheer panic fills my voice while I waft the smoke away. "Where did you go?!"

 **Meow!**

"Huh?" I drop down next to the basket and see a mound under the black shirt wiggling back and forth.

And out pops a small golden yellow head with pointy ears, and a tuft of fur covering it's left eye. "Uh? A-Atom?" I ask completely surprised.

There's the sound of feet pounding and Tobi bursts open the garage door. Striking a funny pose with both arms, and one leg in the air. "You have nothing to fear, Tobi is here!"

Atom meows as I lift him out of the basket and hold him against my chest. "It's Deidara." I look up at Tobi with wide eyes. "He's changed back." I hold Atom up for Tobi's inspection.

"Aw, look at you, Sensei. You're so cute!" Tobi is bent over wiggling his finger in front of Atoms face, to which Atom immediately tries to bite him.

"Wait, does that mean..?" I begin to wonder as Sasori comes around the corner.

"What was the yelling ab- **POOF!** -meow?"

"Oh! Sasori! You two?" I walk over to the bundle of clothes; that was already to big for him at the start, and lift out the burgundy red cat, with a very drab and unimpressed look on his face. "Sorry, Puppet. I think you answered your own question." I place him on my left shoulder, and Atom on my right. Tobi following behind I walk out of the laundry room. "Hey guys! I think the alcohol has worn off!"

"Meow reow mreow!" comes the loud response from Grim standing on the living room table.

"Let me guess. You said something along the lines of 'No shit, bitch.' " I guess as I scoop him up into a hug and rub my nose against his neck. "I missed you yelling at me in cat talk." I patronized him as he flails around in my arms, unsuccessfully trying to escape.

Stitch walks out of the kitchen and seemingly yells at Grim, causing the cat to immediately stop his struggling.

"Huh, so it it's only temporary." Itachi says while looking at his own hands.

 **Poof!** And there goes the snoring Kisame on the couch turning back into Jaws form, but somehow remaining asleep. _He's so cute, dead to the world when he finally gets some shut eye._

Itachi looks at Jaws sleeping form with a sigh. "I suppose that means I'm next." He looks up at the clock. "So it only lasts about six hours." **Poof!** And now there is a black fuzzy form on the couch with red eyes.

"Heh heh, I guess that means I'm last." Tobi says next to me, pointing at his face. "I think I'll need your help with all this. Can we…?" he shyly gestures first to his makeshift mask, then thumbs in the direction of the room they first changed in. I gulp down my nerves as the memories of last time flood my mind causing a blush.

"I, uh, yeah sure. Wouldn't want you to suffocate in that as a cat. Hold on." I put Grim down first, then Atom and Puppet. Tobi leads the way into the room.

The door shuts gently behind me, and suddenly Tobi is kneeling on the floor in front of me, head tilted down. "Uh… you? You want me to take your mask off?" He nods in the affirmative.

I take a gulp and gently probe the folds of the scarf, finding one of the ends and slowly start to unwind the fabric. Soon it was just loosely draped around his neck, and when I move to lift up the beret he tilts his head back, allowing me a full look at his face again.

"You said I can trust you...Ann." His deep voice, so foreign sounding after being used to his alter egos I pitched one, sends a shiver up my spine. "I hope you understand what this means." His eye pierces mine, as he slowly rises to his full height, and I'm now needing to tip my head back to keep eye contact with his.

I nod at him, "I do." He smirks at that, the side with the scaring stretches slightly to accommodate the expression.

"Do you now? You seem to have the others warming up to you very quickly, and you to them. Are you sure you can handle this secret? Will you not tell them eventually?"

At first I'm offended, and my eyes harden at him. "No, I won't tell them." _I have a feeling I won't need to._ I snatch his hat off his head, and shove it into his chest. "If showing your face to me so freely is a sign that you trust me, you certainly don't sound like it."

He chuckles with that deep timber, deeper than even Kakuzu's voice, and I can feel my blood rush to my cheeks and pool in my stomach again as thoughts of the first time we were in this room together came flooding back. His body on top of mine. I gulp my nerves down as my eyes briefly flash over to the bed which the sheets are still a little messy from the altercation.

"I want you to prove my trust in you is valid, little Ann." Obito takes a step forward, and I match it by taking a step back until I'm flesh against the wall. My cheeks are burning red as his larger frame engulfs mine. "Show me." Those two words are like ice and fire all at once, and I'm trapped with my heart beat pounding in my ears. _Show him? I thought I'd proven myself already, what can I do further?_

 _He mentioned the others. That I was getting so close with them, and he's right. There has been a lot of flirting too. Is he jealous?_ I smirk mentally at my small breakthrough. _He wants me to show him I put our promise above the feelings I have for the rest of the Akatsuki._ _In short…_ I allow my smirk to slide across my lips and Obito matches it while lifting his right eye brow slightly.

 _He knows…_ I lift my left hand and place it on his scarred cheek and slowly slide and comb my fingers through his hair to the back of his neck, tugging him down to my face level. _I can't choose between them._ I lean forward and stretch onto my tippy toes. _But.._ Our faces are a few millimeters apart. _He wants to be the first to be shown the affection I feel._ I close the distance and press my lips against his in a kiss.

He's stiff at first, but slowly, his lips soften, and in the next moment he has me pushed up against the wall with the force of his kiss. My fingers in his coarse hair tugging him closer, relishing in the feeling of losing control and getting lost in another person's warmth.

His lips are thick and slightly course. I can feel the left side is a bit harder from the scaring, but the sensation it creates drive my mind even deeper into the kiss. I grab the front of his shirt, trying to find something solid to keep me down to earth.

He grabs both my shoulders, his grip tight and unyielding. It almost hurts, but I love it and just as a moan starts to slip past my lips.

 **Poof!**

Suddenly there is only fabric in my grasp, and the heat surrounding me is gone. "Uh?" I open my eyes, not sure when I had closed them in the first place. Nothing but wafting white smoke drifts in the air. "Obito?"

"Meow" I look down and clinging to my shirt with his tiny claws is Mask, dangling off my chest.

"Oh, Mask!" I support his small body and lift him up to a comfortable level. He mews cutely, his single eye flashing red briefly, and I got the sense there was pervy intent behind it. "Don't look at me like that." I blush and give his rough fur a little noogie.

I continue to carry mask as I leave the room and join the others in the living room.

"Alright boys. It's late, so there's no purpose and giving you any more alcohol now." There is an outcry of meows, to which I raised one hand to quiet them. "Sleeping arrangements are easier this way anyway. I'll give you more in the morning." I finish by covering a yawn. "For now, let's just get ready for sleep." I place Mask down, and go over to the table with all my medications and collect the pills for the evening. Again, more anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and the typical birth control. A lady my age should be on one anyway. You can never be too careful.

Grim leaps onto the table and starts yell-meowing at me. "Oh stop it, Hidan." I use his real name for emphasis, while giving him a tired glare. "I'm not giving you any tonight. I'll do so in the morning." My eyes soften with a smirk, "Besides, if you were human I wouldn't let you sleep in my bed with me." That seemed to shut him up and remove the aggravated look he was giving me. I chuckle "That's what I thought."

I stand up and take my pills in one swallow. "Alright, time for bed. Someone already has the right idea." Jaws is still snoozing on the couch, so I pick him up and carry him with me.

Some furry bodies rush past me to the room, and others walk calmly beside me. Namely Stitch, Puppet, and Ash.

After placing Jaws in the bed above my pillow I change into sleepwear behind closed doors in the master bath, and when I'm finished everyone else has taken up their usual position. They move to allow me to climb in.

The darkness and the silence consumes me, and my mind races through the events that happened just in the past day and a half. _It feels like much more time has passed._ And at the end of my musings is the ghost of a kiss that still haunts my lips, drawing blood to my cheeks. _So that's it then, I'm falling for all the Akatsuki…who are also my cats…This is going to get weird._ I refuse to put more thought into it, and force my mind to shut down for the night, and before long I'm in a blissful dream.


	13. Being Cheeky, and A New Face

This is an updated chapter from the version printed in 2016. Also updated ch. 12 so go back and reread that please. Also this is the second time submitting this chapter to the doc manager and it turned into some binary bs when I posted it. What's up with that ? Get your shit together lols. Enjoy!

Don't own Naruto, just Ann.

 **Ch. 13: Being Cheeky and a New Face (updated)**

Hidan POV

I never thought waking to the lack of warmth could be so irritating, but this is the second morning in a row I've felt this way. _Fucking whatever. Guess it's time to get my ass up_. I stretch with a yawn. Something I learned about being a cat. You can stretch in about any position and it feels FUCKING AMAZING. "Oh yeah, that's nice." My body is in a twist, and that's when I notice neat piles of clothes. One looks like my underwear and pants from yesterday folded up at the end of the bed past the sleeping forms of the other Akatsuki. "Hmm."

Past the clothes is a bowl, with an amber liquid in it, placed on the bed post with a small hand written note that says 'Drink Me'.

"Drink me? Well if you fucking insist." A quick sniff, confirming it was alcohol, "Sweet, Jashin, yes." I dive right in taking a few licks and suddenly I can feel my body elongate and contort.

"I gotta say, the Bitch is prepared." Soon my body is back to its normal human form, and I stand up with another stretch and a yawn.

"In the name of your god, Jashin. PLEASE put on some clothes, un!" _huh_? I look back at the bed and see a very scarred looking Deidara covering his eyes with his cat paws. I smirk deviously.

"What's wrong with my body, Deidara? Lord Jashin celebrates the human form, just so long as there is no procreation." I pose with my arms behind my head for emphasis. Hips thrust forward shamelessly.

"Hidan, put on your clothes. You'll traumatize Ann." comes the demand from my partner, Kakuzu. I sigh, relenting.

"Kill joy..." I mumble as I shove my pants on my legs. Still choosing not to wear a shirt, I strut out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen where I know I will find Ann, if the sound of that heavy music has anything to say about it.

I round the corner, and am not disappointed by what I catch Ann doing. She's singing and dancing in that seductive way again while stirring something on the stove. It smells sweet and spicy. Cinnamon and sugar. _Mmm, I could get used to this. Fuck, this is delicious in so many ways._

Using all my ninja stealth I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, trapping her against my chest. "G'morning, bitch." She gasps, and becomes extremely ridged. Suddenly there is a smack, and a scolding hot wooden spoon is slapped across my cheek as she instinctively defends herself.

"AH! Let me go! – Oh, Hidan!" her head is craned back so she can finally see my face. She pulls the spoon away but it leaves behind some sticky, hot, oatmeal, and a red hot patch that hurts like a bitch. "Jesus!" She slams the spoon down and grabs a dish towel. "Why did you have to scare me like that?" She twists in my arms and tries to wipe the oatmeal off with the towel, but I use one hand to stop her. The other still holding onto her waist.

"I do it, because it's fucking fun." I lick off some of the oatmeal at the corner of my lips, it's still lava hot. "I like it even more when you try to fight back." Ann sighs heavily, like she just doesn't understand how she gets herself into these situations.

"Yeah, yeah, you fucking masochist. You do realize that it makes me feel guilty hurting you, right?" she watches me lick off more oatmeal. "Let me help. It's all over your cheek, you can't possibly get it all with your tongue. Plus I think you have a burn now."

I don't relinquish her hand. Instead I just smirk at her. "Are you offering to lick it off instead?" Her face turns bright red, and she blows a raspberry at me.

"You fucking wish." I tighten my grip on her wrist that's holding the towel, and tug her body even closer to mine with the other. I lean forward, forcing her body to bend with mine.

"You're damn right I do." Somehow her face manages to turn even redder. She seems frozen to the spot, with those big brown eyes looking frightened. I can still see thoughts whizzing through her head, and not before long she comes to some kind of consensus, because her eye lids drop and the color of her face cools down.

Suddenly, her free hand is gripping my chin roughly, and she's tugging me closer to her, as she stands on her tippy toes. Her long nails prick my skin slightly. "Is that so?" her voice is in that lower octave that resonates. A sound that you can feel, and it makes my hold relax but my body harden in other places.

Gentle movements, a sway of her hips, pressing herself closer to me, while further loosening my hold. Closer still. Her face is scant millimeters from mine, and she's aiming for my lips. _Yes, fuck yes!_

Then there is suddenly something rough on my cheek, rubbing furiously. "OW! Bitch! What the fuck!?". She had managed to get her arm free with out my noticing and is rubbing off the oatmeal with the hand towel. I'm trying to pull away from her, but she follows me, with a vice like grip on my chin.

"I'm getting the oatmeal off. Stop wiggling around like a pussy."

"What did you just call me?" I'm nearly pissed now, but that's when she pulls the towel away and replaces it with her lips. Kissing the scolded area gently, making it tingle ever so slightly. Immediately the burn and my temper are soothed.

She pulls away with a blush. "There, better?" Her expression was so innocent, with down cast eyes and rosy cheeks.

I decide to give her a grin. "Yeah, but I think you missed." I lean forward, daring her.

She rolls her eyes and says "Tough." With a giggle.

"What's going on in here, un?" Deidara rounds the threshold.

"Nothing I can't handle." Ann replies then turns back to the pot of oatmeal cooking on the stove. Deidara has a question on his lips, but she stops him with one of her own. "Hungry?"

"I'm starved, Bitch." I answer while taking my usual spot at the table.

"Good, I made plenty for seconds if anyone wants any. Have a seat too, Deidara." She smiles at him sweetly, and it makes me a little sick. She dishes out a serving for each of us. "The others sure are being lazy this morning."

Deidara responds, "They needed some extra time to recover from being flashed by him. Hn."

"Hey, it's not my fault you guys can't keep your eyes to yourself. I was just turned human again!" I defend myself. Ann starts laughing.

"Oh, you poor things." Ann coos with false sympathy. "Don't you guys go to bathhouses together? I'm sure you've already seen everything anyway." She snorts with a giggle. Her statement has Deidara turning red.

"It's not like we just sit there looking at each other, un." He says defensively.

"Yeah, but it's still no reason to be so prudish." She laughs again, but Deidara doesn't look happy. "Oh come on, I'm only teasing you. Relax." She takes a moment of just studying Deidara, he slowly leans away from her perusal.

"What, Ann?" He asks.

"I figured out why you look so weird right now. You don't have part of your hair tied up. It's all down and loose. Actually it could use a brush again." She stood up, left the room, and came back with a brush and a hair tie. "Do you mind?" Deidara shook his head 'no', and so she set herself to work. Brushing his long hair from bottom to top till it's silky smooth, then pulled up part of it for his usual half up half down hair style. She combs her fingers through his hair till it sat just right.

Throughout the entire experience, Deidara kept staring me down, pissing me off. He's giving me a shit eating grin. _Bastard, but you aren't the one who got a kiss on the cheek from her, are you?_ I give him a smirk of my own, which seems to through him off as he looks confused.

"Alright, all done. Thank you for letting me play with your hair. It's very…soothing." Ann says as she sits back down to finish her breakfast. "The others better hurry up, we've got a long day ahead of us."

Kisame rounds the corner. "I don't suppose I'll be able to join in this venture, with the way I look."

"Why not, Kisame?" Ann asks back with a huge toothy smile. "You guys may have ninjutsu to transform yourselves, but I've got the magic of makeup." I've never seen Kisame look so scared before.

 **Time Skip**

"GAH! Why do you have to get so close to my eyes!" I hear the muffled cries from Kisame through the master bathroom door.

"I don't envy him." I say as I snicker, Deidara joins in.

"You shouldn't laugh at others misfortunes, Hidan." Itachi says to me.

"But it's so much fun!" Tobi laughs.

I laugh, "What about you, Tobi? Who knows what you look like under that stupid ass scarf covering your face?" Tobi stops laughing and looks completely dejected.

"I'm just very shy…" He pokes his two forefingers together.

 **In the bathroom: Kisame's POV**

"Just hold still, I'm almost done." Ann says to me while dragging that damned brush across my cheek bone. It tickles my gills, almost making me sneeze.

"I hate the feelings of this stuff." I whine.

"You are such a man." Usually that is a compliment for me, but the way she said it gives the impression it certainly wasn't in this case. "Beauty is pain, us women deal with this on the daily." She pauses, pulling the brush away, looking at me with a deep frown.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask her. _I'm already ugly, how worse could I look?_

"Honestly…I hate having to cover up your skin…" She finally says with a sigh. "Your natural tone is beautiful. It shimmers in the light, and the blue is actually very soothing to look at…" She admits with downcast eyes. Her words surprise me, and if I could blush, or even blush through how much makeup she put on my face, I would.

I reach towards her, cupping her chin and gently lifting her face up so her eyes could meet mine. "Ann…" I say as softly as my raspy salty voice would let me. I couldn't find the words, so I let my eyes do the talking.

Successfully I get a blush out of her, making me give her one of my signature grins. "Eh, it's not too bad covering up. I get to be in a small room alone with you for an extended period of time." She shakes her head with a small smile, and lightly slaps my hand away.

"Come on, handsome. You're finished. Let's show the others the new you."

We stand and walk to the door, but I catch myself in the mirror. I look…normal. Like a regular man with tattoos on his cheek bones, and pointy teeth. Ok, so not really normal. But normal enough. And so we leave. _This ought to shock the others._


End file.
